go

You snap awake only because your nose dipped below the waterline in the toilet

You've won a pair of Concepts on eBay and have no way to pay for either of them.

It's funny cause it's true.

You leave a party all suddenly realize you're behind a grocery store lying next to your bike nowhere on the way home. You then realize you're getting sick in your dorm. Then you wake up in your bed not remembering if you left your bike outside, get in the living room and see you tore a speaker off this bad boy on the ride back:




I've never been more of an idiot.

Dude is that a jury rigged toilet on your bike?

No. It is actually a handily assembled speaker system.

that's some run DMC **** right there.

When you sleep with your best friend/soon-to-be landlord. As if that situation wasn't convoluted enough already...

or you throw up a pearl.
that happened a few years back

and you swear that pearl is your soul and someone then attempts to sell it to you

black out in seattle wake up in idaho.

...you can't remember the difference between "to" and "too"

Beat me to it.

You wake up tangled in your bike on the street at 2 am and contemplate sleeping there.

...you wake up mostly nude on a pier jutting out into the Schuylkill, when you're supposed to have been at work two hours ago, still only halfway back to your house from last night. That sucked.

STRAIGHT EDGE FOR LIFE.

fall over your handlebars across the street from the bar after leaving happy hour around 6 pm

i was like an upside down turtle on the way home from work.(im a bartender)

get hit by a car, knocked 3 feet in the other direction, land on both wheels and continue to ride away.

A shortcut through a field across rows of 4 foot tall corn seems like a good place to ride a bike.

...when climbing the huge, decorated, and well lit, Christmas tree in front of the state Capitol Building seemed like a good way to impress the ladies.
d

you walk into one of your usual bars only to be told to leave and you aren't sure why. then your friend tells you that you managed to wrench a toilet off of the floor the night before flooding the place.

[EDIT]

and by wrench i dont mean using tools

Dude, get real. Somebody that gives a **** about this kind of thing would dig up all your waffling-back-and-forth **** from a couple months ago, and the thread about "breaking edge" and how "awesome" it is.

... you start a fight with 2 Italian guys in down town Milan, who happen to be carrying broken bottles as weapons... and your job is a model (any mark on the face equals no work)

yup my roommate is a dumbass

...your tummy feels yucky.

or if that doesn't hit your funny bone

...you hear yourself say, "I think my butt **** my pants."