Can't stop laughing at this
05-20-11 | 04:37 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,275
Likes: 5
Can't stop laughing at this
05-20-11 | 04:46 PM
#2
THE STUFFED
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,671
Likes: 21
From: San Francisco, CA
Bikes: R. Sachs Simplicity; EAI Bareknuckle; Madone SLR9 Gen 8
I'm 8'5 350lbs, all muscle, so it rides a little small for me. It's also a fixed gear. shred
05-20-11 | 09:29 PM
#8
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,869
Likes: 0
Bikes: '14 Kona Rove, '06 Bob Jackson
Gonna archive here, no pics though, it's just a Trek T1...
"Holy ****, boys! Is that a ****ing Trek T1 Fixie? Uh yeah, you can bet every last one of your ass hairs it is. You're all "I'm not a trek guy" well check it out, dude. Remember that part in Terminator 2 at the end where Arnold is all "now i know why you cry?" and they lower is ass into a caldron of molten metal? Well this frame is made out of that metal. Its a (whatever that caldron was filled with)/terminator/human and terminator tear alloy. That may or may not be true. Who knows where or how metal is made any way? No one. What I do know is this ****ing cock sucker has custom DT swiss RR 1.2 rims laced to Paul high flange hubs. They were meticulously crafted by Carl Weathers (the buff black guy that gets his arm blown off at the end of predator). "What kind of cranks does it have?" Who ****ing cares? You do, and so do I. That's why I put a 49t Sugino 75 on there. Don't have legs? That's ok... Actually it's not. Go **** yourself you legless ****. But there is hella more tight **** on this bike. Like a bladed carbon Felt seat post and Specialized Roman saddle which is hella comfortable. When I'm not riding, I mount my Roman saddle on a pole in my living room and post up in front of my TV, flip it to the hallmark channel, and watch hours of Golden Girls marathons. That's real talk, my goose babies. So that's probably all the cool **** on this bike, right? ****ing dead mother ****ing wrong. There's also Profile design cobra wing handle bars. Just take a second to think about that. A cobra with wings. No one is safe in a world where cobras have wings. raining venom from above. That is a harsh reality, man. Fortunately for the entire world this isn't a literal cobra with wings, instead it's the sickest possible bar that you could put on a modern style fixie. I digress, because there is other bull**** to talk about on this bike. There is a cane creek headset, Soma pedals with leather straps(I think it's panther leather, but can't confirm), and a SRAM gold chain. The gold chain is tight because if you are the kind of ******* that likes wearing gold chains you can just take this off your bike and throw it around your neck, put some sunglasses on indoors and *boom* you're set. You should wash the grease off first though, otherwise you'll stain your Ed Hardy shirt, we all know what a bumout that is. So if you like hella awesome ****, this bike is probably for you. Oh yeah, It's a 56cm. I'm 8'5 350lbs, all muscle, so it rides a little small for me. It's also a fixed gear. shred "
And then the tags -
"Tags: Jingle all the way, Terminator 1, 2, and 3 Last Action Hero, Predator, Total Recall, Twins, Junior, Kindergarten Cop, Conan the Barbarian, Commando, The Running Man, The Eraser, Collateral Damage, Farts, Catfood, Get to the chopper!!!"
"Holy ****, boys! Is that a ****ing Trek T1 Fixie? Uh yeah, you can bet every last one of your ass hairs it is. You're all "I'm not a trek guy" well check it out, dude. Remember that part in Terminator 2 at the end where Arnold is all "now i know why you cry?" and they lower is ass into a caldron of molten metal? Well this frame is made out of that metal. Its a (whatever that caldron was filled with)/terminator/human and terminator tear alloy. That may or may not be true. Who knows where or how metal is made any way? No one. What I do know is this ****ing cock sucker has custom DT swiss RR 1.2 rims laced to Paul high flange hubs. They were meticulously crafted by Carl Weathers (the buff black guy that gets his arm blown off at the end of predator). "What kind of cranks does it have?" Who ****ing cares? You do, and so do I. That's why I put a 49t Sugino 75 on there. Don't have legs? That's ok... Actually it's not. Go **** yourself you legless ****. But there is hella more tight **** on this bike. Like a bladed carbon Felt seat post and Specialized Roman saddle which is hella comfortable. When I'm not riding, I mount my Roman saddle on a pole in my living room and post up in front of my TV, flip it to the hallmark channel, and watch hours of Golden Girls marathons. That's real talk, my goose babies. So that's probably all the cool **** on this bike, right? ****ing dead mother ****ing wrong. There's also Profile design cobra wing handle bars. Just take a second to think about that. A cobra with wings. No one is safe in a world where cobras have wings. raining venom from above. That is a harsh reality, man. Fortunately for the entire world this isn't a literal cobra with wings, instead it's the sickest possible bar that you could put on a modern style fixie. I digress, because there is other bull**** to talk about on this bike. There is a cane creek headset, Soma pedals with leather straps(I think it's panther leather, but can't confirm), and a SRAM gold chain. The gold chain is tight because if you are the kind of ******* that likes wearing gold chains you can just take this off your bike and throw it around your neck, put some sunglasses on indoors and *boom* you're set. You should wash the grease off first though, otherwise you'll stain your Ed Hardy shirt, we all know what a bumout that is. So if you like hella awesome ****, this bike is probably for you. Oh yeah, It's a 56cm. I'm 8'5 350lbs, all muscle, so it rides a little small for me. It's also a fixed gear. shred "
And then the tags -
"Tags: Jingle all the way, Terminator 1, 2, and 3 Last Action Hero, Predator, Total Recall, Twins, Junior, Kindergarten Cop, Conan the Barbarian, Commando, The Running Man, The Eraser, Collateral Damage, Farts, Catfood, Get to the chopper!!!"
05-20-11 | 09:35 PM
#9
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 672
Likes: 12
From: SF Penunsula
Bikes: 1970? Dawes Galaxy (cannibalized), 197? Bob Jackson Frankenbike, 1989 Jamis Diablo
Brilliant! I didn't even read the tags. Also, thanks for posting the text Sherblock -It'd be a shame to lose that after 7 days...
05-20-11 | 10:19 PM
#11
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,869
Likes: 0
Bikes: '14 Kona Rove, '06 Bob Jackson
05-21-11 | 01:51 PM
#13
Your cog is slipping.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 26,053
Likes: 100
From: Beverly MA
Bikes: EAI Bareknuckle
