My wife and I have tandemed all over the US and even a little bit in Canada, Mexico, and twice in Europe. It always seems that whever we go, some smart alec walking down the street has to say, "She's not peddaling". I know this must happen to everybody else too. I 've always wished that I had a great comeback and I've tried a few, but I would love something a little more clever. Here are a few, can you folks out there add some more? They can be a little mean or funny or anything. Thanks.

I've tried these..

1. She's not supposed to pedal she's just there for decoration
2. Of course she is pedaling, I'm the one who is not pedaling
3. If she wasn't pedaling we wouldn't be moving

Thanks,

Tim and Robin Union City, Ca

My wife uses #1. So far nobody has disagreed.

I holler "Shush! Don't tell my secret!"

Collected from various Bike Forum areas:

Wherever your relationship is heading, the tandem will get you there faster.

"Isn't that kinda cheating?" That's the first we heard that and we laughed a lot. Coming into a rest stop shortly thereafter someone yelled "Now there's double trouble".

I also tell people that my tandem has 2 horse power.

"Whoa, I'm seeing double!"

Hehe the alternative to 2 horsepower is a 4 stroke engine

"She's following you awfully close."

"Do you want to get on and show her how?"

"I thought tandems are slow going up hills", to which I have not figured out an appropriate response...
... how about "they are"
is slow, and you're even slower...]

"Oh no, she musta fallen off !!!"
Got a stunned look, then a good laugh.

"Don't pass him"

"I'm working hard, he is not"

whatever route I take, she's "right behind me 100%".

"its your turn to Pull" always gets a response from the 1/2 bike followers

"For she's not Pedaling."

"Who? There's someone on the back?"
or "She has to, we're chained together."
or "She'd better be because I'm not."

"Your bike is missing a motor." as we overtake someone.

'I steer, she pedals!'

"yes, I am pedaling"

I do want to get my wife a jersey that says "Back Seat Driver".

"Bike Pool. One less bike on the road."

"It's not her/my turn."

My wife generally responds that she's just for decoration.

he yelled "Better speed up, she's about to catch you!"

I've heard it so many times I just feel sad for the poor guy that thinks he's come up with something original.

I say " Thats funny. I've never heard that one before". Then I'm gone by the time they figure out the joke was on them.

My comment is "If he starts steering-I'll start pedalling" as we veer towards them.

Whenever anyone shouts out anything to us while we're riding that warrants acknowledgement (friendly or otherwise) they get a hand wave and a smile...

If it comes from another cyclist or someone who might actually hear anything that was said in reply, then #3 has been my standard reply for over a decade.

Just have the stoker flip them the bird

Not very lady like though

IMHO, the best practice is to never give anyone who yells out or makes an unkind gesture the satisfaction that they may have gotten under your skin.

Instead, say what you'd like under your breath or to your stoker while waving and smiling. If, it turns out, they actually were trying to be friendly they they deserved the wave. If they were being idiots -- and lord knows that's the lion's share -- then getting a full hand wave (not the we're #1 sign) + smile will usually just piss them off and defuse any further escalation of stupidity.

Save the harsh words and hand signals for stupid cyclists who behave and ride in a manner that gives motorists (and other cyclists) a reason to dislike cyclists in general.

Doesn't the winking smiley indicate that I was KIDDING


Maybe I should have been a bit more ridiculous and suggested that upon hearing the usual "She's not pedaling" that the tandem team should totally flip out and go on a tandem riding rampage against society ala Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" but cover more ground since tandems are faster than walking.

Yes, but I take every opportunity to advocate for the wave and smile.

Folks tend to see what they want to see and while you and I might see the smiley as a "just kidding", other's who are predisposed to flip-off and yell at motorists would likely see it as a "you 'betcha".

Now, I will tell you that it was REALLY hard NOT to tag on to the "that's not very lady like" comment as I'm a huge fan of Paula Poundstone and seem to recall a very funny routine where she used that line.

Yeah, as a double bass player, I am never amazed by the number of people who think they've thought of a new double bass joke, or even that the old one was funny.

When my wife hears the "She's not peddaling" comment she rings her bell and I respond that "As long as she rings my bell she can do what she wants back there".

We acknowledge the 'she's not pedaling' by a wave or smile; they all think they are the first to say that. After 34 years of tandeming it sort of goes in one ear and out the other. No harm done, at least they saw us!
Sometimes pilot says "she's my afterburner!"
Pedal on TWOgether!
Rudy and Kay/zonatandem

I first mouth "Who?" then turn and look back at her with a startled reaction. Something to the effect of "where the hell did you come from."

I see it as just another part of the circus act that is riding a tandem.

-Old Army

yes, because we know that the benevolent motorists would be all sweetness and light if it weren't for the stupid cyclists. Hate to inform you, but they hate you, not some fictitious stupid cyclist they saw a couple of days ago.

For us, most times the wife is already saying hello before the others speak. When the occasional comment arises, we just take it in stride, and politely joke back, sometimes comments mentioned here, other times not. Regardless most times it's a non issue.

I do mention to the wife / stoker, that if need be I will buy a jersey with the saying of "If you can read this, she fell off". I'm sure it's an old one for tandem teams, but would be novel at some rides we do. Especially when the mountain tandem is ridden. Granted it's a slight deviation from the motorcycle saying, but for her I'd rather it didn't use the "B" word.

Overall though it's all good, some kooks, some nice folks, and many times, especially when we see older people, the conversation perks them up and brightens their day.

As for idiots in cars, and stupid pedestrians, that's another chapter. Sometimes I'm not quite the angel with those folks.

PK

We can tolerate idiots in cars, on foot, and or bicycles. But idiots that think they are funny... those drive us crazy! We take no offense to most verbal comments.

Years ago stoker Kay had a bright yellow t-shirt with a big black arrow pointing to the left and the words "Please change lanes!"
She used to wear it on particularly tough climbs on twisty narrow roads here in the Southwest . . .
It elicited friendly waves from some motorists.

As we glide past on our recumbent tandem most gawkers are too slack jawwed to mutter anything.

What's the difference between a cello and a bass?

If it makes you feel any better, every year my students ask me the difference between a bass and a double bass.

As for the tandem comments, I'm definitely going to use the "Who? There's someone back there?" one.

Rode the tandem on a popular local ride this morning called the Blossom Ride. Near the top of a climb a County Sheriff vehicle with two officers in it, pulled along side and slowed down. The passenger side officer rolled down his window and we expected him to provide some info on the road ahead or something of that sort, but, of course, instead, he said "Hey, she's not pedaling!".

Did you ask him to TAZE her until she starts pedaling?

I was thinking of making up some "Team" jerseys. Hers would say "I'm not pedaling", mine would say "I know She's not pedaling".