Agree that communication is key to becoming a good tandem duo.
We've been tandeming since 1975 when tandems were a bit of a rarity in the US.
We are now on our fifth tandem and at ages 80 and 78 we still ride TWOgether 4 to 5 days a week.
We no longer do centuries or multi-day tours; been there, done that!
However consideration for stoker is thereat advice. If stoker ain't happy, you don't have a happy tandem team.
With a bit of patience and perseverance you'll make a great duo!
Pedal on!
Rudy and Kay/zonatandem

Just a couple things to add....

There are two different thoughts on the first rule of tandeming. The original "Rule #1" is: The Stoker Makes No Mistakes, which means if anything bad happens on a tandem accountability rests with the Captain. The Stoker is absolved of wrong-doing, i.e., if the tandem falls over during mounting or dismounting either the stoker wasn't properly instructed or the captain erred. The alternative Rule #1 "The Stoker is Always Right" has become quite popular and even shows up in Co-Motion's marketing materials. However, truth be told... stokers are quite often wrong about all kinds of things, as are captains. Feel free to use which ever makes a team feel better. Just know there are two different takes on Rule #1 and they are quite different in their meaning.

As for becoming comfortable on a tandem, just remember that this forum's participants tend to be successful tandem teams and they have covered the bases on why things have worked well for them. I like to think of the formula for success as: Compatibility coupled with the ability to Communicate & Compromise and the Stoker's Trust in the Captain's Competency.

Trust can quickly be undermined by a crash, poor judgement / scaring the bejeezus out of your stoker, or taking your stoker for granted, i.e., fooling yourself into thinking there is open and honest communication or compromise taking place when, in fact, there's not. Once that trust is lost, it can be terminal unless the root cause is identified and addressed.

Just something to keep in mind.

TG, this comment that you made "Trust can quickly be undermined by a crash, poor judgement / scaring the bejeezus out of your stoker, or taking your stoker for granted, i.e., fooling yourself into thinking there is open and honest communication or compromise taking place when, in fact, there's not. Once that trust is lost, it can be terminal unless the root cause is identified and addressed." Is profound and applies to every area of our lives, especially the last sentence. May I have permission to use it, we do marriage mentoring and this is an awesome statement.

Wayne

Feel free to reuse, edit and/or otherwise revise to suit your thoughtful needs.

I was once told that building trust is like a man building a brick wall. It has to be built brick by brick over a long period but can be destroyed suddenly by the impact of one large heavy object.

Once trust is lost, it seems that identifying the root cause and addressing it are only the first two bricks in the new wall.

Thanks for that statement TandemGeek. I've been following the discussions on the tandem forum for a number of years. The reason I came here for advise is exactly as you stated. Lot's of very successful tandem couples with years of distilled wisdom!

We're truly going to follow your philosophy. I'm going to leave my ego home, be patient,attentive, laugh and giggle more, slow down and enjoy the journey!

Been riding as a duo for 38 years and 230,000+ miles.
All the above answers are really good.
There was no such thing as a tandem chat room to help us out then.
Heck, the shop we bought the tandem from had no one that had ever ridden a tandem!
So we learned everything on our own. Within 3 months we were a very efficient team.
Now we are on tandem #5; at ages 80 and 78 we are still pedalin' TWOgeth
Communicate, compromise and take her out for lunch . . .
Rudy and Kay/zonatandem

In my experience you either get comfortable together pretty quick or never... If not pretty quick, give up before it leads to divorce! (My son is my main stoker now so I could keep the wife and the tandem!)

Lots of great advice here, much of which helped me and my now-fiancee to really enjoy the process of learning how to ride tandem a couple of years ago. It's a different feel in so many respects than riding a single... the pacing, the way the body responds, the pressure in the pedals, the time it takes to spool up to speed. The learning curve was a little steeper at times than anticipated (eg, it took us 1,000's of miles to finally figure out how to stand and punch up hills), but the time we've spent on the bike together has been special. Tandeming is a perfect reminder that life is the journey, not the destination. And the best journey is the one that's shared.

I'll add only one thing to the advice column: The first time you coast into the parking lot at the end of a ride totally spent and ready to collapse, resist the urge to simply unclip one foot, lean over, and start to crawl off the bike like you've done a thousand times on your single. If you do, your still-clipped-in stoker will hit the ground. Do not -- I repeat -- do not forget your stoker. Not that I could imagine ever doing such a thing...

I need to figure out how to convince my wife to get on a tandem in the first place. would seriously help us on our family outings, as she's always got it 'easy' with just a kid seat on back when I'm towing 100+lbs in a burley out back on our respective singles

Maybe you could borrow one - tho it sounds like you need a kid seat on the back of it. Maybe you can borrow one that has a rack, and find a kid seat that slides on or clips onto the rack - we had one of those, yea-long-ago Rhode Gear I think it was.

One consideration with a tandem - it sounds as tho you'll have a kid seat on the back of the tandem, followed by a heavy trailer. That bike will be HARD to get rolling - from pure weight + inertia, and also will have it's center of gravity even further back + high with the kid seat. So it would be real tricky to get it rolling and balanced- a slow start, heavy, top-heavy + back-heavy, unfamiliar steering. You can probably do it, but it'll probably be hard + unfamiliar, and you'd probably do well to be careful not to spook your dearly beloved or the lil one's with a bad start or a fall. Don't want to put 'em off the idea.

All that said, good luck with it - hope you can work it out, and hope you all continue to enjoy family days out on the bikes!

Well said!

We've all ready got a seat that would be easily transferable.

I'd want to borrow one and get comfortable with my wife on it before attempting it with kids in tow.

as it stands now, a single bike with the trailer is a sluggish start, let alone when I take all 3 along with me (seat + trailer out back).

We pulled a couple of our grand kids (4 and 2) in the trailer this past summer with no real problems and had lots of fun. Too bad we just sold our old GT tandem we're close enough that you could have come up to Lancaster for a go.

there's a couple of shops that rent tandems... might have to work in renting one for a week once the weather is warm enough to ride outdoors again for her.

Overall, it's an evolving condition. To add to what the more seasoned teams have already commented above -- we're only 9500+ mi in 7 1/2 yrs -- is balance key when the stoker starts moving around. It only took my stoker/navigator/Admiral about a mile before she figured out how to move around w/o upsetting the balance & cg. You'll notice instantly if she starts twisting her body around when the bike is starting to lean in that direction. Most stokers whom I've met say that they master THAT point very quickly. If your stoker is going to turn around to turn on the rear light, she should inform you what she's doing so that your can compensate. She doesn't want to crash any more than I want to.

Cadence. Another potential sore spot. But you'll end up compromising. On singles, I tended to mash (75-80 rpm) & she spun (85-95). We settled on 85 (w/ a minimum of 80 rpm). And we eventually moved up to the 85-95 range. We use 90 as our cruise and shift by 95. My stoker will let me know if I'm in the wrong gear -- chain ring and/or cassette -- but the computers keep us honest. Dual computers are a must.

Some days I would say 45 days.

Other days I would say "well more than 35 years..."

/K