For the first time ever in our 3.5 years of traveling together as a family, we got separated the other day. Long, long story - explained it all here: https://familyonbikes.org/blog/?p=1648

Tell me your stories. How did you get separated? How did you get back together?

I once was seperated from my cycling partner by an Easter religious parade in Sicily. I just waited at the exit to the town till he joined up with me again after 30 minutes.

Man, what a scary, frustrating time for all of you.

Nothing at all compared to your experience of course, but my daughter and I got separated near Superior, Az. She in car, me on the bike. I found a place with a bench and parked the bike on the road side for her to find. John might have done the same. (Our cp's weren't working there.)

When cycling across Russia, I got separated from my touring partner for ten days. She usually cycled faster than I, but we'd worked out a rhythm where I'd leave earlier in the morning, we'd catch up together in mid-morning and then agree on likely sync points after that. We'd also learned to cycle together as we went through complicated turns needed to cross large cities.

On the morning in question, we were leaving big city of Kazan. It was a hot day (39C, 102F). My stomach had been unsettled and I'd let her know. As we were leaving the city, she got ahead of me and at some point decided to stop and wait for me. I went past without either of us seeing each other. Once we missed each other, we got into a mode that didn't help us get together:

- My thinking was: she is ahead of me. She normally stops after 20-30km, so I'm a little surprised I haven't seen her yet. Perhaps it is because it is hot or perhaps some other reason? I better not stop or wait too much until I catch up so I don't keep her waiting in this heat. So I kept pushing on and pushing on. Finally at 118km for the day, I decided to stop and camp. I set up my tent where I could keep a watchful eye on the road. I still wasn't certain what happened, perhaps she just decided to push on or go separately - strange but not sure.

- Her thinking was: he is behind me. He wasn't feeling well. Perhaps he is besides the road being sick in a ditch. Maybe I should go back and check on him. So she decided to turn back. She made it all the way back to the hotel we'd stayed at in middle of Kazan. Along the way the power was out and traffic signals and other things were a mess, so it took a while to get there.

So at end of first day, we were 118km apart but didn't know exactly where. I was still thinking she was ahead of me but had some doubts. She was back in Kazan and knew I was likely ahead but not where. Things were also complicated because her Russian was minimal. I asked a number of people, but nobody had seen another touring cyclist. On second day there was a ferry crossing with ferry four times day. I pushed early to see if I might catch her at the ferry. When I didn't I wasn't quite certain what happened and decided I'd keep my trip going but occasionally try checking in via internet.

There were a few things that complicated matters over the next few days:

1) We were in region that crossed the Urals. There were several road choices between the larger main roads and smaller side roads. We didn't always pick the same road choices, with my tendency to pick more direct routes and hers to pick smaller more interesting roads. Also, at boundaries of oblasts (provinces, states) the roads didn't always go through. I had one day in there where roads I was on first turned to 26km of gravel and then ended. I set off overland on small dirt paths via dead reckoning and eventually made my way to some small villages and other paved road after another 27km. She also had a day where she went 50+km the wrong way to a dead end and had to turn around.

2) We didn't have good internet connections. Normally that might happen at post offices in small towns or in internet cafes in the big cities. There was a lack of both. One day I did find post office but internet stations were in use and unclear how long they might last.

3) We didn't have cell phones. Her Russian was minimal and folks I asked hadn't seen her.

4) The bearings in my front wheel were having problems and one likely disintegrated so I was interested to get to larger city with bike shop.

So after nine days in the countryside I finally made it to city of Ekaterinburg with 1.5 million people. I found a large hotel and made reservations for two nights. I got the bike taken care of and found an internet cafe where I sent her a message of form, "I'm not sure how we got separated but here are my plans". At this time, she ended up being a day behind me. She had tried to push extra distance most days, but also had that day she had gotten lost - and neither of us was certain we would have picked the same routes through the Urals.

So in my second day in Ekaterinburg, she came into this city of 1.5 million. Through coincidence, she decided to pick the same hotel I had picked. I was out walking and noticed her bike leaning up against the building as she was trying to find the entrance (it was a big hotel). We found each other, and caught up with events of the past ten days. I decided to stay a third night and we synced back up after that.

We had some occasional times we might get separated other times on the trip (both before and after this time). However, none of them were overnight, let alone ten nights. If I were to do things again, I'd make certain we both had cell phones and could quickly text message or call to sync up. I actually did have phone but she didn't and so didn't have this option.

We did a group bike tour of the Loire.. we had this guy who'd just go out on his own, without telling anyone.. Guess, he just wanted to travel the road less followed.. First time he did it, it caused us worry.. Over the course of the next couple of days, he always found his way back to our destination .

As Captain Willard famously said, "Never get out of the boat."

It's good to have rules and follow them, but it's also important to have a strategy for what to do when plans don't seem to work. One important strategy is to question what you believe are the facts of the situation, and then take action if the other party doesn't appear to be acting as expected. If Nancy or her husband had realized she could have accidentally passed him, they could have acted accordingly and flagged down drivers going in what intuitively seemed the wrong direction. A good lesson learned for all of us.

I think I may have eventually questioned whether John was behind me somehow, but I had talked to those two men when I got water and they said they had seen a tandem earlier in the day. What are the chances that two fully loaded tandems would have been out there on the same road on the same day??

MEV - I can't believe it took ten days! That's an amazing story.

I think you should have given him a big dose of "If Momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!"

But once they arrived, I saw how easily it had happened and it wasn't really anybody's fault. Well, it was hubby's fault technically since he fell asleep while on watch, but...

I read your account on your blog even before you posted a link and thought the same thing. I could easily see how it easily happened as I could relate it to my passing each other as well.

We had an instance a week or so earlier where we'd missed each other for most of the day; and ended up waiting for each other at different points. That influenced me in part to keep going and see if I could sort things out at the end point for the day. My journal page cut and paste from that day:
Макарьево, a day to be lost

Today we got lost from each other, but fortunately ended up at the same place at the end. The idea for the day was to remain on the northeast bank of the Volga and bypass Нижний Новгород. The sun was up early and we had a light tailwind as we cycled. At 10km, Mickey came past. At 30km was a turn for Заруеино. This was the short cut to Бор and where I should have turned. I went straight instead. I realized the mistake at 41km when I came to the main road and Mickey also wasn’t there. She must have taken the other road and I was off track.


Ok, so now I hurried along to find my way back to the route. At 56km was the turnoff. I circled around a little looking, before going to Бор and stopping at the first store I saw. I decided to wait for an hour and see if she was behind and looking. At 40 minutes decided to give up and continue. [Unknown to me, Mickey had missed the same turn and was waiting a few kilometers ahead with similar idea].


Бор was a mid-sized town with a nice central market. After this the road became quieter and quieter. Some stretches were through the woods and it was mostly a good road. It was a little further than I expected. The towns were small and not much chance to stop in cafes. Finally at 4:30pm made it to Макарьево. I found Mickey here and sorted out our surprisingly similar stories of having missed the same turn and waited before continuing on.


In Макарьево was a nice old monastery with churches being restored. One of the nuns came out to invite us in, and the brought someone from the kitchen who spoke English. She carefully explained that no lodging was available and that we were welcome to visit two of the churches. Some quick looks before camping on outskirts of town.


143km today, 3841km across Eurasia

My cycling partner (not Rowan) and I got separated on one particular day on our tour through Australia in 2004. By that point in the tour things weren't going too well for us, and he would often ride off and leave me out there but he would usually wait up the road a ways. So we'd often end up riding solo for an hour or two, then together for half an hour or so before he took off again, etc.

But we had an agreement ... if we arrived in a town solo, we would head straight for the nearest Tourist Information Centre and wait there for each other, or at the very least, we would leave a message for the other person there. Most Australian towns have a Tourist Information Centre, they are usually easy to find, and they are good for all sorts of information and help.

This particular morning in Queensland in December was hot, and I was dragging a bit early on, so he disappeared in the distance. Quite some time later, I was about ready for a break and snack, and I spotted a large fruit stand on the side of the road. Perfect! I figured he'd be there waiting for me ... the timing was about right. But no, he wasn't there. I bought fruit and was treated to a couple ice creams by a sympathetic customer who thought it was too hot for anyone to be riding out there. After I'd rested a bit, I kept going. Hours passed, I stopped a few more times to get something cold to drink, to eat, etc., and in the early evening, I arrived in the destination town. I headed straight for the Tourist Information Centre (located on the edge of town) as agreed ... but he wasn't there and there was no message. I wasn't sure what to do, so I waited, and waited, and waited there ... after all, that's what we had agreed.

Just as darkness was falling, he came cycling into the parking from somewhere in town. Evidently he had gotten into a zone, and had cycled quite briskly all the way to the destination town without stopping anywhere. When he arrived, he was hot, tired, hungry, and thirsty so instead of going to the Tourist Information Centre and at least leaving a message, he headed all the way into town to find a place to eat and drink. Somehow he thought I would do the same thing, and that I would know where he had gone, so he just stayed at the place and waited there ... until finally, as darkness was falling, he figured he'd better go and look for me.

We were separated all day ... rode solo all day ... but at least we found each other by nightfall.

It's funny how we just kinda assume the other one is thinking along the same lines as we are. Why do we do that, anyway??

A friend had wanted to come cycling with me for a weekend in the Kootenay Region of BC as I passed through to say goodbye for a bit, and I took him up on the offer. He'd never done anything of the sort of anything more than 40km riding, and never touring, and was naturally a bit nervous. Our first day was a breeze, stopping at just under 100km for the day with high spirits.

We met someone camped out beside us who I ended up running into 4,000 kilometres later while in someones house that I also met on the road 3,500 kilometres from their home (totally different story altogether but serendipitous) and made plans all to go for a ride the next morning from New Denver to Kaslo, the "other" camper just coming along for a leisurely bike ride (no panniers etc). We set off, and I stopped to check for some free wifi in the neighbourhood we were in, knowing that I would catch up to them shortly. The next thing I knew I was talking to a few passerby's with bear spray in their hand both sharing a question and answer session - 15 minutes later went by and I set off at the end of the road, hung a right and started riding.

About 30km of the way into it I started thinking, man they go pretty quick especially up these hills, but kept on plugging ahead, stopping to take a few photos, perfecting a headstand and other silliness. at 57km is where we were to stop and have some lunch and beers, however my Odometer/GPS was well past this mark when I stopped to take a peek at the next city. It turns out me with the one with the directions providing device took a wrong turn right instead of left, and was quickly heading farther and farther away leaving my partner stranded. Cellular service was spotty but we finally got a hold of each other 6 hours later, when I was in the town of Nelson, drained from riding 140km unable to push forward to meet him at Ainsworth Hot Springs. We connected the next morning, laughed our heads off, and moved forward.

Now, if it was a "partner" as in spouse/girlfriend, I might be a bit more worried, but overall everything turned out ok. Oops.

It's amazing how quickly it happens - you just never expect it at all. We never, ever turn off the road we're on unless we're all together. But then, if he knew we were turning right just a few blocks away, I would probably go ahead and turn...

I think this shows why you should always try to split essentials such as food. Why in the world would one person carry all the food? You never know what can happen out there and if, god forbid, something terrible happens you need to at least be able to survive. Same with backpacking, if my partner falls off a cliff and he had all the food that would put two lives in danger instead of just the one. I hope that in the future you both will at least carry a few essentials such as food.

I know around here we use our cell phones in case we get too far apart. I know though in some places you don't get reception and they won't work in all countries. Does no one think to bring a set of those cb walkie-talkies? I don't own a pair but I have used them several times and some of them have a reach of up to ten miles. Checking in with each other every 8 miles seems like something that could work versus running the risk of getting separated for a long time.

We toyed with the idea of walkie talkies, but figured we would very rarely use them (this would have been the very first time in 3.5 years on the road) so it wasn't worth the hassle of trying to keepthem charged and ready. In hindsight, he knew we were ahead, so should have sent a message up to us with a car. He just figured he could catch us since he rides so much faster than we do - but then he didn't know we were riding furiously to catch up to him!

Anyone have any good backup strategies for when Plan A doesn't work? If you're in a town with e-mail, you can always send each other an e-mail if you can't find each other. Not a plan for remote environments, however. Any ideas?

1) Know the plan for the day ... we are going to cycle to this town for lunch, and then that town at the end of the day.

I'm not big on making plans well in advance, but I do like to know where I'm heading that day. And if there appears to be a desire or need to change the plans during the day, that's fine, but it is discussed and agreed on prior to the change. In my situation, we both ended up in the same town at the end of the day as planned and that helped us find each other by the end of the day.

2) Choose a designated meeting place (and remember it). In Australia you can choose the Tourist Information Centres because they are everywhere, but in other places it might be something else ... like the first BP you see, or the town's hostel or campground, or the town hall, or something specific that would be in most towns on your route.

3) Stay put. Once you arrive at the designated town and designated meeting place, stay there or if that is impossible for some reason, leave a note to indicate where you've gone. That was the good thing about Tourist Information Centre, you could leave notes for people. But you may be able to do that at hostels and campgrounds too.

In my situation, if I would have arrived at the Tourist Information Centre, discovered that he was not there and had not left a note, and then had left to go look for him, I would have probably missed him. We would have been wandering all over town looking for each other and may have missed each other entirely. But because I stayed put, he was able to find me.

Our backup plan is to call my sister. We all have her number on our bikes and if we can't get to email, we'll call her and she'll relay messages. It's never happened though.