I have no idea if this is the right place for it, hope it is.

I am a female, 5'5" and 130-ish lbs. This might sound normal to some of you, and indeed it is 'normal' on the BMI scale, but for me... it is not.

In highschool, I maintained a weight of 100 lbs just by going between classes. I have a high burning metabolism and all the good and bad things that come with it. I am small in the hands, feet, face, well... everywhere. EXCEPT.

I spent the last three years of my life pretty much sitting around on my ass most of the day or sleeping. I would drink quite a few cans of soda a day, I would eat 4 or 5 milky ways or butterfingers or some other high-calorie, high fat candy bars. A DAY. And then one measley meal... maybe healthy, maybe not (steak and green beans with lots of butter, or cheese in a can on crackers with pepperoni, anyone?)


This is when my muscle pretty much disappeared and fat took its place. I have a gut, I have MONSTROUS thighs. Really, I was lucky... with how I was living and eating I should have gone up a couple hundred, not a measely 30 lbs. I realized stuff was getting bad when I was struggling to carry a 25-lb bag of kitty litter 20 feet. I started out simple: a change in diet. I thought FOR SURE this change would do the trick. I stopped at the candy bars, maybe occasionally treating myself to one tiny square of dove chocolate. I switched to Special K and egg whites only and whole wheat, calorie counting, kiwis and fruits and veggies, multiple meals a day.

I did this for a month before I stopped. Why?

I was NOT living. If you call that living, you're freaking weird, I am sorry. I needed some treats in my life and I discovered this when I broke the diet by eating every last thing I craved so badly in one single day. Burgers, fries, aolie, chocolate, philly cheese steaks, pretty much everything bad but so good. Then I reverted out of guilt to just trying to make smarter choices - saying no to candy bars save a bit of chocolate a day (maybe some m&ms or a few cookies), but keeping with the light mayo and other such healthier choices. And of course, lean cuisine dinners and snacks around at all times.

At the same time as doing this I was doing first, Wii Fit, and then, p90X. I even stuck with the p90x after I quit the diet. But I quit the p90x when I discovered... I lost no weight. None. At all. The diet had LITERALLY done nothing for me. I even checked against inch measurements around parts of my body -- it was, indeed, worthless, as well as the exercise.

Which brings me to now.

I personally decided that my biggest woe must be the fact that I have almost no muscle left in my body. I started rectifying this by purchasing a home elliptical machine, which I never used after I discovered that I could not last even three minutes on the thing. Instead, I sat around in a depressed state of self-pity, deciding that I just had to live with it. It was, after all, a normal weight, right?

Well, about a week ago I got a good look at myself again in a full body mirror at a store's dressing room. I was making sure my spring clothes fit, and noticed the pockets of cellulite in my thighs and butt and how much my gut stuck out. I have no mirrors in my house save the bathroom cabinet one, which in my teeeny bathroom, will let you see maybe your chest and that is all. I fell to pieces. I cried so hard in that dressing room that I didn't come back out for 10 minutes. Silently, I loathed my body.

My friend is a member here somewhere and a big fan of cycling these days, and his ranting, along with the Yehuda comic and memories of bike riding as a youth and how nice my legs were, got me to finally give this a try. I am dirt effing poor, though, so instead of getting a pretty bike, I took the tiny bit of money I had into making an ancient mountain bike from my teenage years road legal. Lights, helmet, plain ol cheap walmart shorts so I didn't worry about pantlegs getting caught in the extremely exposed gears, horn, and a u-lock. The bike looks like someone put pretty shinies all over a pile of dog crap, but hey, it works.

Even though I have been working away at my elliptical and have managed to get to a whopping 12 minutes at 0 resistance (!!!) before I can no longer bend my legs, I decided to add biking to my schedule.

I took it out for my first ride today. Here, in this part of Western NY, we have two choices for riding terrains. Flat, or suicide effing hills of doom. I cycled about an hour and a half through the mostly flat town, only encountering one obnoxious (but really, very small) hill. At times, my legs would burn and I would have to pant out my mouth from the exertion. No clue what heart rate is or speed was, as those are toys I most DEFINITELY can not afford (I just spent my last 50 on accessories). I kept in the road so I would have to try to force myself to go at higher speeds.

So my curiosity is, is this going to help me? Even if I cannot tackle those huge hills yet? The mountain bike has nubs on the tires but to be honest, I can't figure out that gear mechanism to save my life. So I really tend to treat it like it has nothing. Can I tone my legs? Can I finally lose this stupid weight?

I'm getting absolutely desperate here. Just want to wear a swimsuit and feel good. Hell... to fit into my clothes again would be nice, and not have a muffin top, and not feel like a tub when I wear my shorts or have some loose fabric around my thighs in my jeans would be nice.

For the records: 32 1/4" around the belly button. 39" around the hips/butt. Upper thigh at widest point is 21.5". 29" around the ribs. 6" at knob of wrist. 21" around skull. Is one thigh supposed to be bigger around than my skull?!

Edited to add:

During those teenage years of my only exercise being running around school between classes and gym class, I ate like a hog. I am talking there were times when I was packing 4 lbs of food a meal at 18. I am now 25.

i've never understood this mentality, how many of your waking hours are spent eating? is food the only thing that gives you quality of life? think about how your body feels the other 22-23 or hours of the day, is it worth it for the hour or two of "happiness" that eating junk food gives you?

i think one problem is that you cut out everything too quickly. being healthy and fit requires a lifestyle change, and quite a few people find it more beneficial to take small steps toward their goals rather than just quit all unhealthy eating habits cold turkey, which often leads to binge eating.

focus on cutting back a little bit at a time, at first you may not feel like you're making much progress but over time it gets easier, and one day you'll wake up and realize you no longer crave all the junk you did before. trust me, i've been there, and i'm glad to say that i'm finally at a point in my life where i no longer crave sodas, candy, fried food, etc. in fact, looking back on it i don't see how i could have eaten that junk to begin with. i still have the occasional unhealthy snack, but it's usually one or two a week, not one or two a day. you mentioned how much you ate when you were 18, i ate that much and more and it was nearly impossible to gain weight back then. but as you get older you'll find it much easier to gain weight and harder to keep it off.

it may help to put your goals down in writing. maybe your goal is to get down to 110 lbs, or be able to ride 50 miles, or run a half marathon. think big, and then plan out intermediate goals that will work you towards that end goal. you might also subscribe to a magazine like Women's Health or something similar. this has helped my wife a lot, just having that magazine around to read every now and then motivates her to eat healthier and get more exercise, and there's lots of good exercise and diet tips in there. but really, the goal should be to live a life that makes you happy. you're obviously not happy in your current state, so you have to decide what makes you happier... junk food for maybe 1-2 hours a day, or being healthy and fit 24/7? it's possible to have a balance of the two, if you still want to eat junk food try to do it in moderation. but trust me, once you start taking those small steps toward healthier eating habits, it'll become much easier than you think possible.

it's well known that exercise and being fit can (and usually will) also improve your mental state and self-confidence. i got depressed when i gained 20 lbs in less than a year, and it took me a while to reverse my bad eating habits and get into a steady workout routine, but one bit of advice i'd have for you is to find a way to make exercise fun. for me, it was cycling... i really enjoy it, and it just so happens to have led to me losing 15 of those 20 lbs in just a couple months. we have an elliptical at home, an expensive one at that (more expensive than my road bike), and i still use it once or twice a week, but i can't get on that thing every day. i feel like a hamster in a wheel and get bored easily, so i go for rides anywhere from 3-5 days a week, and when i can't get outside i'll do maybe 20-30 minutes on the elliptical.

as for your endurance, just keep at it and it will improve. when i first got on an elliptical, i could only go about 5 minutes before my legs were on fire and felt like they just wouldn't work anymore. same with a bike, i could only go maybe 5 miles before my legs wanted to give out on me. now i'm riding at least an hour each time i go out, maybe 3 days during the week, and closer to 2 hours on a saturday or sunday ride.

I invite you to join me and several others losing weight at the community at Traineo.com

It's free (you can pay for it if you want, but the extras are minor) and it's a big community of people trying to lose weight normally (no weird diets, no weird books to read, no crazy starvation plans, etc).

Your doing well by cycling. I understand that you went through some hard times, but that will change with time. Don't worry about hills because the more you ride, the stronger your legs will become, thus you will be able to tackle the hills. I had a little disheartening moment early last week because on one of the local trails I wasn't able to complete 1 mile, but after a few hours I got on another trail and rode 12 miles. That got me excited and after a day of rest, I completed my goal of 14 miles on one ride. I got home pretty excited and I feel much better.

Plus, the kicker is I haven't rode a bike for over 2.5 years since beginning 2 weeks ago and gaining 60lbs.

Remember: Drink plenty of water, give yourself some rest between rides, set some goals for yourself & find some music you like to listen to while riding (but be cautious of your surroundings).

Keep up the good work!

What you are looking for is a long term solution which requires 1) a plan and 2) discipline to follow through with the plan. Plans are a dime a dozen and plans that work with one person may not work with another. But one thing that helps is to monitor your calorie intake. I know this is a pain, but what it does is allow you to make better decisions about what goes into your body. This allows you to fit in those treats or foods that are the healthiest, but you don't feel guilty about eating them.

Regardless of your plan, keep at it. Even if you can't see in results. They will come, and it will take time. Even if you only exercise of 20 minutes, make those 20 minutes count. It may take a couple months, it may take a year, but you have to think long term. Pretty soon 25 will turn into 30. And 30 will turn into 40. And if you don't start now, it will be that much harder later in life. The body does not work quite as efficiently at 40 than it does at 25. Pounds are so much harder to take off.

One last note, stop getting caught up in body size. I ran an 8K last month and there were a number of younger women, probably around your age, with body sizes that were not "fit and trim" that were keeping with my 9min/mile pace. If want to compete to run a marathon, then yes, you might want to be small and tiny, but if you want to be a normal human being, then be focus on being healthy.

As you've already noticed, there are really two goals: stronger and lighter. They are in some ways separate goals, though they are synergistic. Getting stronger can be most simply done by slowly increasing the total time spent exercising aerobically each week. So keep track of that. Make a training log. Pencil and paper is fine or a big calendar. Increase the total time spent by 10% per week. Don't worry about mileage, just time.

As your exercise time increases, you'll see that your rides or workouts go better if you eat the right type of good foods at the right times. What those things and times are will take some research and learning. But the important thing is to change how you look at food. It's fuel. That's what it is. It makes your body go. So eat what's good for you. If it tastes good and is fun to eat, you're more likely to eat it, which is good as long as you don't eat too much of it. Hence the calorie counting. I've never counted calories. I just try to eat as little as I can and still keep up my busy, exercising lifestyle. A good breakfast, a great lunch, a good afternoon snack, and a pauper's dinner is a good recipe. I mostly try to keep the portion size down. The less you eat at your biggest meal, the less you'll need to eat in the future to feel satiated.

It's a slow process, but it'll happen if you stick with it. Get some natural foods cookbooks. It's possible to have absolutely wonderful things to eat that are still good for you.

^this

If only food wasn't so good...

good food is good too... i guess it's just a matter of personal taste. i can't stand stuff that's too sweet, greasy, fatty, etc. i love the taste of grilled veggies, lean meats, stuff like that. although if i didn't have the self-restraint, i could probably sit down and eat an entire 1/2 gallon of Bluebell Homemade Vanilla ice cream every once in a while.. lol

Its a classic first post! Awesome, you should copy/paste it and make sure it has the date. Have it as a stickie in your frig or whatever.

Age? or How old are you?, I find it stupid when people say I am this age young. Dude, accept it is freakin human nature, you are born, you live, you die, completion of a cycle.
What do you expect?
Until you take care of the demons (or whatever you want to call it), you will still relapse. You have to gauge your stressors and what triggers them. Your problem is not the food, from your tone, the way you come across clearly shows there are much more things going on on that head.
I highly suggest you attend a nutritionist, maybe some kind of counselor, who knows yoga classes etc.

I do not follow a diet, its called healthy eating. Start with baby steps, first quit the pizza, hamburgers, then little by little french fries and sodas. For example it took me a while to migrate from white to brown sugar, and from whole milk to low fat 1% milk, from white rice to brown, from Coca-Coca to green unsweetend tea. I did not do it in one day, impossible, at least for me. Sodas, I would drink one every other day, and if I wanted one I had to workout, etc. Now I just consume one or two a month "maybe" whenever I go to a restaurant or a party, and put a stirrer to pretend its rum and coke, and this way people dont offer me beer or a drink.

That way of living you cannot "live" is the one I happily live. I go to work morale days where they have hamburgers, french fries, sodas, Lays, beer, etc. I bring my own bag pack of fruits, mixed nuts, unsweetend tea etc. You have to understand that having pleasure via material things is not bad, but when one gets attached to those things thats when one is a slave, a prisoner to material things. To me food is a means to live because without it I die. It is not easy, or else everyone would be skinny. One day I woke up and said enough of this junk and crappy lifestyle, tired of feeling tired, tired of getting sick, the lack of motivation, sex drive, of a miserable quality of life.

It does not mean I will never again start eating fast/ processed foods, drinking beer etc,but as long as I meditate, monitor my stressors and do a mental check every now and then (and to accept who I am, to feel comfortable on my skin), I will stay on the right path of healthy living in body and soul. Be honest to yourself and realistic about your goals. I watch tv and I get sick whenever I see fast food commercials, even food network or the travel channel cooking section, DIners drivers and dives (nasty), just the constant bombardment of junk our society is fed via the media sources.

It seems you have hit the wall of you are not a teenager anymore, you are not looked by the opposite sex that much, and who knows if teenages look at you as an old person. Like the movie, Reality Bites, and even those that laugh at us are not exempt of such "fate" and "awakening".
The only method to burn calories is that less calories come in compared to the calories that are burned. Well, in fact it took a few relapses until finally I emptied the pantry with no Lays, Doritos, brownies (I love brownies), Coca-Cola, white rice, etc. I got a nice six pack, feel stronger than ever, it does not mean every now and then I can have a treat. The other day went to Cruisers Grill and had myself a good BarBq burger with homestyle seasoned fries, and to be real the next day I felt I had poison in my body. Call me crazy, but I love the pizza from Costco, but even as much as I love cannot eat it. I eat so healthy that if I do grab a bite better be near a bathroom.

***

I go to these bike rides and girls who have a few extra pounds ride darn good. In fact women who used to be over-weight once they lose the extra fat tend to be very strong riders. The body developed all that muscle mass to cope with the extra weight. If done correctly the muscle mass stays (although muscle fibers are always the same, they just get smaller or bigger) and be able to have sculpt body.

Once again food to me is consumed as a means of survival, although coffee is the only exception, lol.

Stricken,

I know where you are at. I can down 5 cans of soda, candy bars, and eat one meal a day. I know if others read this they wonder how can you do this to your body and I don't have a perfect answer. It's a combination of factors and it's different for each person. I have several strikes against me. I have epilepsy and am bipolar. The meds taken for both conditions ravage your body and after 14 years of those meds, you can tell. Some cause massive weight gain ( I gained 10lbs in two weeks on one), depression (like I don't have that problem already) or leave you totally lethargic so you don't feel anything (bipolar meds). The third strike is just plain "if I pretend it's not there, it will go away". Oh, wait. Strike four. I injured my back a couple of years ago and have fought spasms since then. Doubled over in pain doesn't exactly make you want to go excercise.

I haven't been on a bike in 17 years and my son talked me into buying us each a bike as he's started riding and wanted company. Just you making it an hour and half makes me jealous. I got around two blocks and nearly fell over in exhaustion (5 minutes maybe). I wanted to sit down and cry. Several days later, I still could barely make it around a few blocks. You may have done better as you are much lighter than I am. 220 is a lot of weight trying to go up a hill.

Yes. It's helping, but I had to realize that I'm just starting out and not push myself more than I can or try to keep up with imaginary numbers/people. Going up the massive hill my kids can master with perfection isn't going to happen right away. I've gotten where I can go about 10-20 minutes before my body gives out and I'm okay with that. I can get on a bike without almost knocking it over or getting caught in the seat now. In 10 minutes I've sucked down two 20 ounce bottles of water and could use a 3rd, but at least there aren't two or three cans of soda under my bike.

As for the gears my understanding is 1st is for going up hills, 2nd is for basic riding and 3rd is for going down a hill. Mine has settings between those numbers and I've sort of figured out what works.

The junk food habit will take time to break and I know it. It's instant energy but a terrible crash. After sucking down two bottles of water each day since I started, I've realized that now. Will I fall off the wagon..err bike? Probably. But the plan is to get back on and not hate myself for falling off. If I can do about 10-20 minutes a day, I'm good.

The other thing that helps is that my kids are so encouraging. Yes, they laugh at me huffing up a hill, but they slow down and wait while I drink water and tell me how great I did.

On the days you can't ride, go for a walk. I have the advantage? that my DH works an hour away. I put my bluetooth headset on, call him and walk a mile as that's all I can do right now. I'm sure the neighbors think I'm crazy talking to myself as they don't see the bluetooth set, but it means more time with him as I walk.

Most people could eat junk and never exercise and still not lose weight when they were teenagers. But you're still growing then. Once you physically mature your metabolism slows down.
And it just gets slower as you get older.

You can get leaner and fitter by cycling. It's a good way to burn off calories. Better than running because you can do more cycling without injury. Of course the best exercise the the one that you enjoy the most, because you'll do more of it. And doing something fun is good for your mental health.

You would also benefit from weight lifting. It's worked well for my wife, and for me when I got back in to cycling after being sedentary for a number of years. Sitting around causes your muscles to shrink, and there's more to cycling than just leg muscles- you need a strong core to support them.

Cleaning up your diet would also help. But by cleaning up I mean reducing the sugar and junk, not eliminating it and going on a strict diet. That's no way to live, as you found out. You need to eat a reasonable diet, preferably with real food. A little bit of junk isn't so bad. Remeber its what you do on average that counts, and maintaining a health diet is a lifetime occupation. I find that it's easier to deal with eating "bad" foods if I make them really good and only have a little. For example instead of eating an entire bar of chocolate I'll have a small piece of really good chocolate, and savor it.

Take three at writing this response. PC keeps bluescreening.

Also, something I should add that I never did.

I kept up my eating habits through college. Bad diet choices because I liked the way they tasted. I was healthy, never got sick, and I weighed, at most, 110 lbs (and that was after putting on muscle from rock climbing).

I didn't hit higher than that until my last semester. We had to take a gym class, and I opted to take one that focused on healthy eating and exercise, since I had to take a health elective and keeping a food journal was part of that. Two birds with one stone, hey?

I started eating off the recommended food lists and started working out heavily (the rock climbing ended at the start of my 2nd year and this was the end of my 4th year). Weights, gym cycling, treadmill, swimming, and crappy college-style healthfood. No more pizza hut pizzas or KFC chicken tenders, just the good stuff. Salads every day for lunch.

At the beginning of this I weighed in at 110. By the end of it, 125. BMI off of the machine they used had gone from 17 to 24. All measurements went up. And as if the depression of gaining body fat where I SHOULD have lost body fat and gained muscle wasn't bad enough, it effectively got me an F in all the courses, causing me to fail the semester and, because it was supposed to be my -last- semester, making me drop out of college due to lack of funds to take it over.

I also had stomach issues in my late teens. Doctor visitis and tests advised me that I processed fiber incorrectly and needed a much smaller amount than most people, and that bread and grain was NOT my friend. Essentially, about the only thing my body liked 100% was protein and meat.


@rmr1923 --

5 or so years ago? Many of my waking hours were spent eating. I would get up, get on the schoolbus, consume a candy bar or a bag of M&Ms for the hour bus ride. Then, a plain white bagel with loads of butter, cream cheese, and jelly upon arriving at school. Midway between that and lunch would be at least two more snacks from a vending machine and a Snapple or, later when they got them, soda. Lunch was typically school sludge til I got into vocational school; then, due to the culinary class selling lunches every day at wholesale prices, the fancy food they cooked up. This ranged from king sized prime rib with baked potatoes to scalloped potatoes and ham. Then another snack shortly after lunch, bag of M&Ms, keep me from falling asleep after filling myself up from the vocational school lunch in class. Bus ride home was foodless, but home was whatever I could get my hands on, whenever I felt like eating it. Dinner, two to four large servings of whatever was cooked (an example, two hotdogs, two burgers, heaping serving of potato salad or macaroni salad or two large bone-in chicken breasts with BBQ sauce and two to three ears of corn.) Of course, due to later-discovered dietary issues, diarrhea literally became a part of my regular every day life.

Then I ate the aforementioned diet, and now I eat more along the lines of...

Eggs for breakfast, soup for lunch, Lean Cuisine for dinner with Lean Cuisine snacks in between, bag of M&Ms after dinner for my desert (sometimes only half a bag)

I would say most days I eat around 1000 calories but I have recently become guilty of stopping counting.

My body feels like its trained to eat off of calories. I 1) never eat unless I AM hungry and 2) I can only eat a lot of something if it is very low cal. Average restaurant faire takes me two or three meals to finish at this point. So at this point, I am eating much more healthy than most people.

I doubt a magazine would help me. I'm not that sort of a thinker.

And further, not sure if its a woman thing that guys won't ever get, but I really, really need my chocolate sometimes.

Also keep in mind that what will work well for a man may not be as effective as a woman. We have dietary stuff we really need to watch out for. For one, our iron gets sapped completely -at least- once a month. You don't have that.

@qcwtom -- I thank you for the invite but I more than likely won't join. A friend talked me into signing up for one of those sites, and all it really does is fill my inbox with hundreds of e-mails a day full of stuff that either is not in my budget, or I have already tried.


@Hydraulic -- Would be sooo nice to have trails around here. I have either the flat town or the excessively hilly NY crap roads with no side barriers, and I am admittedly afraid of them.

Thank you for the encouraging words, and best of luck with your riding. I have been slugging water like mad, though really, water is all I drink all day, save a soda at dinner time. Well. Half a soda.


@ badbradclark -- Believe me, I know more than well that something can work for one person but not another. My boyfriend matched me during that last diet, and he dropped 20 pounds like it was nothing and has kept it off for 2 months so far. I am very proud of him, but it made me sob inside whenever he told me he dropped another 5 lbs, whereas I had still done nothing.

I do still monitor my calorie intake, though the past couple of weeks I have gotten very lazy with it. Doesn't help that I have absolutely no clue what I SHOULD be taking in. I get anywhere between 800-1300 with the various formulas, and I was told you had to eat more when exercising to try to keep your body from going into starvation mode and putting on fat not due to bad habits, but an instinctual fear of starving.

That is another I have heard -- start young and it should be a boost for when you are older.

I just hate looking skinny on the top and heavy on the bottom. It makes me very uncomfortable in my own skin. If I were 135 with a C-sized rack and nice hips and a decent, not cellulitey rear end, I would feel good in my skin right now. But instead I am a girl who you can count the ribs on with a small B cup (maybe large A?) and then these supersized lovehandles, thighs, etcetera.

@carbonfiberboy -- The food is what kills me. After my 1.5 hour ride last night around the town, I was STARVING, and I had even grabbed a quick snack of cucumber rolls at the local Chinese restaurant for a break in the ride (the ride actually took 2 hours, but I subtracted the half hour it took me to enjoy my snack). I was so freaking hungry, but I had no idea whether or not I should eat. And what SHOULD I eat? Eggs? Toast? Sandwich? Fried squirrel?

Thank you much for the tips, but how much should I be doing in a month if I am just starting on the bike again and doing 1.5 hours?

Back @ rmr1923 -- I love sweet, greasy, fatty. Grilled veggies can be really, really good. I disagree wholeheartedly on lean meat though. Stick a trimmed top round in front of me and my stomach won't rumble. Delmonico? My stomach will -roar-. Poultry makes me nauseous if I attempt to eat it. I do love sushi and sashimi, but I just can't afford a regular diet of that. As for sitting down with ice cream... if I don't get my little container of Ben n Jerry's when I crave it (generally once every two or three months), I turn into a very cranky girl.

@oneofpr --

25, says on the bottom of the post. So I'm 25 years young

Many more indeed. Bad relationship that I should have bailed on years ago but cannot due to not wanting to hurt him, depression, no job, 25 and I don't even know HOW to drive a car (that should make some people here damn happy, hey?). I can't afford a counselor, a nutritionist, nor yoga classes.

I cannot quit pizza ... okay I have quit pizza. Nevermind. But I cannot quit that Burger King burger treat once a week. Maybe I can, but I don't want to do that again. It was awful to watch others eat something around me that I knew I loved so very much. Fries... I don't do often. Only if I feel like making them myself, then I have them with aolie, a la pomme frites. And that is a rarity. My coke, I now only have once a day, at half a can. Maybe some days I will finish that other half off later if I am having pistachios or some other savory treat. I don't drink milk (lactose issues) and I occasionally down some v8 juices, those new flavored mixes they have that are super low-fat. For the most part, I subside on water and water alone now.

This is the first time I have ever heard of tastey food being a material thing, haha.

Back when I was eating as I used to, I had WAY more energy. I felt better. I had a sex drive. Now that I am eating healthier, I never get sexual urges. I always wake up feeling groggy and tired and it takes me a good one to two hours to get to something I guess more 'normal'. I'm pooped out again about 6 hours later and I have to push to stay awake.

Its gonna be a while before I feel comfortable in my own skin.

The opposite sex is a funny story for me, actually. I get a lot of attention from the opposite sex. Which is annoying, since I have always been a tomboy and had guy friends. Now I can't, because they all try to get in my pants.

Here is a bit more in-depth look at what I was doing during this diet.

I was on the eating plan "Burn the Fat, Keep the Muscle." It promotes protein and good carbs and comes with a guide to bad and good foods, and good foods you can substitute for the bad. It is made for people who do competition weightlifting, but supposedly works well with a mix of cardio and strength training.

I followed the charts and did the math and was advised to do 1400 calories a day with my exercise regimen. This would leave me with roughly 300 calories to expend during my daily workouts. I would then do 150 calories on the wii fit in running, step aerobics, and the hula hoop challenge. Then I would fire up and do an hour long p90x video to compensate the rest. I also did strength training three days a week to rebuild extra muscle.

@ Bethany --

I felt better eating like that than I do now. I hear you with the depression, I have that without the help of meds, pretty badly. Granted some of what I suffer from now may be circumstantial.

I don't have numbers for my gears. The right one goes H at the top and L at the bottom with little tabs in between. The left one has L at the top and H on the bottom and the same notches. They mean nothing to me. I assume maybe H and L is for low/high, but it seems like whenever I adjust towards the high, my bike chain makes this horrid clicking sound and it scares the hell out of me. The last time I rode was some 8 years ago and I shifted gears, something popped, cut the wire to my bike's break, locked a tire, and I almost went off a cliff. It was ****ing terrifying and I will be honest, I am still scared to this day.

I have honestly never, ever suffered a crash from candy. I used to feel the same amount of energy all through the day, never getting groggy or feeling wasted. The only time I ever crashed was when I first tried a red bull: I felt like a god for about 20 minutes, then suddenly could not keep myself awake no matter what. I fell asleep standing up.

Thank you for the advice, very much. I hope that things get better with you and your cycling, but it sounds like you are definitely making big progress on it. I am jealous that you have your kids to do it with -- I ride alone.


@ericm979 --

Thanks for the advice. Any idea what sort of weight work your wife does? I have 20 lbs worth of free weights and a bar.

For the record, I have said I eat a bag of M&Ms... but I don't go around doing the daily potato chip thing or anything. Really, that bag of M&Ms is the worst I eat most days. A few days ago I was feeling down and comfort-ate a sleeve of mint cookies instead of dinner, but, well, sometimes I think you have to do something like that. I guess I could be wrong, but it leaves me feeling fine.

Heh...that's a long post Stricken.

Anyways, your welcome and it doesn't matter if it's flat land, hills, backwoods trails or a combination of all, it's the fact that your taking a step in the right direction when it comes to being healthier.

oh i'm well aware of the chocolate thing lol.. my wife always keeps hershey's kisses around for when she gets those cravings. and i'm aware that dietary guidelines for men and women are much different. my wife is a dietitian and she schools me plenty when i slip up on my diet as well. i was just trying to offer a few pointers that might help, take my advice for what it's worth. and if you ask me, 1000 calories daily is probably too low. i believe livestrong.com has a pretty good tool that will help you calculate how many daily calories you'll need for whatever goal you're trying to achieve, i'd say for someone your size 1400-1500 would be the minimum, especially if you're getting exercise regularly.

do you have any GI issues with the lean cuisine meals? i ask because you said you had some digestive problems that sound real similar to what i have, and i've found that the processed foods in microwave meals just wreak all sorts of havoc on my stomach. i've been better lately about putting some extra food on the grill at night and taking it to work the next day for lunch and it's made things much easier on my GI tract.

Never, ever, ever get in the pathway of a woman and her chocolate. It could lead to death.

It depends on the meal, for me. Sometimes I get issues, other times I do not. And then there is just the factor of 'how ornery is my stomach today?'. None of it make sense, either... for example, one meal I can eat ALL the time without having GI issues is the stuffed cabbage. Go figure. And the dinner that makes me feel terrible no matter what? Meat loaf.

Wow, what a post! I've never seen such a brain dump from a foodie, it really shows the mentality that some have about food (which is very very very clearly your problem, Stricken).

I eat food to give my body the nutrients it needs, not to "treat" my tastebuds.

- I'd cut out the bag of M&M's after dinner (do you really think you need a desert? Really? It's a bad habit you've gotten into).
- I'd cut out the soda with dinner.
- You probably don't need a snack on a 90 minute bike ride, but cucumber rolls sound healthy enough I guess.
- You need QUALITY food, 4 or 5 times a day. Garbage food does not equal living the high life. I cant even imagine eating 2 candybars in a single day, unless I was on some sort of epic 100+ mi bike ride.
- No/few sugar/carbs for 5-6 hours before bedtime.
- Count your calories.
- Bike as many miles as you can, the weight should start to come off once you're doing 40-50+ mi a week. At 100+mi a week I had to add significant calories to my diet to keep from turning into skin and bones.

I've never seen somebody actually be so honest on here about just how over the top obsessed they are with food food FOOD! Amazing

So did you see any of the posts about the strict diet where I DID cut all of that out for a month (well, a bit over, just averaging), how crappy I felt that whole month, and how it did me absolutely no good?

As for the snack, it was mostly because I had barely eaten that day before the ride. Stomach was roaring. And yes, I do need desert. For some odd reason, I get less GI problems if I have a bit of chocolate after eating a larger meal.

Well, I said it would take some research to figure out the eating part. And the exercising part for that matter. None of this is easy. You know that. You could start by googling "cycling nutrition." This will be one of your first hits:
https://www.bicycling.com/training-nu...on-weight-loss
You could do worse than to read the articles in that link.

Most of us take some sort of sports drink with us on the bike. Cytomax, HEED, and Accelerade are faves. Google. My wife likes diluted chocolate Ensure the best. You want to consume somewhere between 50 and 250 calories/hour while riding, depending on how hard you are riding. You might try starting with about 100 calories/hour. That will keep you from getting all starving while you're riding. So if you were doing the Ensure thing like my wife, you'd take a bottle of Ensure or a clone, dump it into a 24 oz. bike bottle, fill with water, and also take a bottle of plain water. Over the two hour ride, you'd drink most of the Ensure bottle, and as much of the plain water as you felt like.

It's important to keep your blood sugar up a bit, because if you get too hungry, you'll overeat after. Then after, you need a carb/protein mix, very little if any fat. A PB&J is good if you like that sort of thing. Chicken breast sandwich with lettuce and tomato? Or just a chicken and spinach salad is good. An important thing for weight loss is to only eat about 1/2 the calories burned on the bike, counting both during and after.

As far as how much riding: start with what you are doing right now. There's no "supposed to." Just start, and gradually increase the weekly hours. They say, "experience starts when you begin." It will take few positive and negative experiences before you'll get a sense of balance.

Also, my friend told me to make this perfectly clear. I am not here to do some triathlons and races and all that stuff. I want to thin up the fat on my legs and drop some love handles. I didn't want to post in the Clydes/Athenas section because I did not want to offend anyone with the *****ings of a 135-lber. I don't need the training and diet regimen of someone who wants to be super human, just of someone that wants to be a slightly less... lower body fatty person.

Thanks Carbonfiber, but I have this problem. Its mild coeliac's. I'm not supposed to eat wheat. I do on occasion, but...

I'd cut out a lot of "bad" foods but it is okay to eat bad foods once in a while.

You're taking the right step. Getting on that bike will make you work - you will sweat and when you arrive at your destination you will realize you are not out of breath anymore. You will feel better about yourself and start doing other things. You shoudl keep at things for more than a month.
I find that eating just egg whites is strange. seems like a waste of food and the yolk is good for you in moderation of course. Should have a healthy portion of veggies, fruits, protein and fat.
You should learn to shop for your own food that is not packaged or frozen. No more lean cuisines or boxed foods that are marked as 'healthy.'
Maybe you can even start your own garden.

Have you also gone to see your doctor as well? Blood tests to check your thyroid, blood sugar, etc.

Good luck.

Stricken

Your gears probably didn't shift right causing the clicking noises. The first time it happened to me I almost fell off the bike thinking it was going to explode. I still don't like the sound of it, but at least I know I need to push the lever over a little more. I did have it checked at the local shop, so it's user error.

Next time you go, play with the gears and see what happens as you test them. I had to go up a small hill and work through the shifting and the same with going down. If you are pedalling and going nowhere, you need to change up higher.

I know what you mean about starving after a bike ride. From one of the above posts, I'm guessing our blood sugar levels aren't at normal range and we need to add calories as we go? I've noticed it's a different hunger feeling, not an empty bottomless pit if that makes sense. Ensure..I had jaw surgery when I was 14. Can't even look at the stuff or any of the clones after 6 weeks of a liquid diet. (Now that's a fast way to lose some weight but I don't recommend it which is probably why I like food)

That really sucks about your college courses and I'm sure that let-down will always hurt. Gym class=revenue creation course=more sports equipment for their professional athletes and nothing for you. I think college is a joke nowadays, but give yourself some time to save up and pick another gym class that would work better for you. When your math professor at the beginning of the course admits that 90% of us would fail, I almost raised my hand to ask, "So you're a bad professor and here because you have tenure?"

I understand not driving. It sucks. Having to depend on people for a ride is humiliating and most people don't get it. I can drive, I just shouldn't. In my case, it's medical as the last thing you want is me having a seizure going 60 mph on the freeway. However; I think people using a cell phone while driving are far more dangerous then me. Going from driving to not driving was really hard. At least I have a perfect driving record out of it.

I'm not doing any triathalons or anything serious. It's purely for fun and enjoying time with my kids when they come with. I refuse to put a number on anything. I will never be 150lbs like I was 18 years ago. I don't care what "size" I am in clothes as long as I'm healthy. If I stay at 220 or even go up some, I'll know there's more muscle than fat somewhere in there.

Thanks much, asdfghjkl.

Eating just egg whites IS strange. Especially when the only thing you are allowed to use to lube the pan is a teeeeeny spritz of Pam. It tasted like phlegm, to be literal and gross. I tend to eat my yolk runny, on bread... because that mix of bread, jam, and yolk is just amazing.

A hard part for me is finding the 'healthy' balance. I don't really know what is healthy for me and I don't have the money to find it out.

I would love to do fresh foods, but I am usually cooking just for me, and it is less expensive and less of a hassle to just buy the lean cuisine dinners. Lean cuisine cabbage rolls are amazingly low in cals, and about 2 bucks per box, depending on if I hit them at sale time. Making my own stuffed cabbage is 3 bucks for a pound of burger (smallest portion available), three or four for a head of cabbage, then a box of rice... I can't save that cabbage, and I can freeze the burger and keep the rice sometimes, but...

I can't afford a doctor, sadly. I'd love to as I am pretty sure there is probably a lot wrong with me (I've been sitting here for years with wisdom teeth growing in sideways and smashing all my molars, so I have bad, bad teeth which leads to infection and worse problems, but my family never wanted to take care of it and I can't afford to at this point. $20,000... yikes). I can't afford a nutritionalist, nada. Hence why I am here instead of going "Hey Mr College Degree Guy, what should I be eatin?"

I think that is the problem... but at the same time, I fidget with the things a lot. One, I never seem to feel a difference even when the chain 'catches'... and two, no matter what I do I just cannot get that clicking to stop. Its an ooold bike I got as a present and never rode in my teens. Mt Fury... I believe fancy terms for Walmart Special. I rode a lot as a kid/young teen, before I had a nasty accident, and I know what a shifting bike should feel like... this doesn't feel like that at all.

I don't know, Bethany. I have a totally normal blood pressure (120/80) and a resting pulse rate of 98 BPM according to those machines. Blood sugar I have no clue on. I CAN tell you that after I eat a meal I get very cold while digesting it, and my digestion process is easily upset, and the best thing I like to do after eating is go lay on a warm slab of concrete or something in the sun.

I hear you with the Ensure. I can't drink it anymore, either. I have bad teeth issues from my wisdom teeth growing in sideways and my family opting to do nothing about it. So I went through college and the past few years of my life with all my molars broken up from wisdom teeth coming the wrong way into a mouth that was already considered too small and overcrowded for adult teeth. I have spent MANY a time on Ensure only diets. Blech. That stuff is so freakin terrible. And it sits horribly in my stomach, even if I get the lactose-free variety. Feels like a giant brick.

College is a joke nowadays for most jobs and curriculums. A big money-making joke. My German friend was telling me about their equivalent to college, and that I could see how that worked... but in my years of college, I just stood in confusion, wondering how I could go from Bs on every paper for the semester and then an F after I declined the teacher that professed to love doing dirty things with horses IN CLASS' invitation to ride horses at her ranch. But that is a whole different topic, College and Why I Hated It. I wish I could be sort of a "cool" human being and say I dropped out from partying too much, but alas, I hate partying and drugs and booze.

It IS humiliating. And its terrible. I could never get my boyfriend to drive me places and still can't. That is all well and good if you live in a city, but I live in Western NY. We have -nothing- here for miles, despite this being a town of 15,000. Handful of restaurants, a walmart, a wegmans, and a movie theater that plays three movies at a time. That is it. The next mall is a one hour drive away. So what pretty much happens is you end up sitting, constantly surrounded by the same white walls, friendless, bored, alone, and just in the biggest state of misery you will ever know.

Indeed. I just... I will admit it. I have no self confidence. I don't have a pretty face, my teeth look like a cemetery after a hurricane, and now to top it all off I have this giant lower half, giving me an almost... absolutely abnormal "pear" shape. Its not cute. Its not fun. If I could just get the love handles and whatnot slimmed down... I would be so very happy with just that improvement. I don't want to be a supermodel. I don't want to look annorexic. I just want to wear shorts again without my thighs flapping in every firm breeze that comes along. I mean, look at me. I have no "life" to look forward to -- I am a college dropout in a dead zone with no money at all, in Western NY which was in recession a good DECADE before the rest of the country, no jobs here, a bad relationship, everything that could go wrong has went wrong. Let me just have this.


Does anyone know if it is normal for measurements to go up? I did my measures again tonight and I have gone up a half inch to an inch on everything below the waist. I know I have been riding just two days, but I have not been eating that poorly -- I even bought eggs and low-fat soups and good stuff again. Hell, I even ate -chicken-. Please don't tell me I just put on an inch of fat overnight.