I hear ya man I got the same problem. Sometimes I do stupid things too. Weapons of mass distraction, my friend! Try meditation or something to cool off. You might not wanna go over what happened again but it's best to sit somewhere quiet and just think about a plan so next time you don't do something that could get you in trouble.
People generally won't do anything unless you give them a reason to do it. Proven by your reaction to his wiper. Try communicating. If it was me I'd be like, "Maybe you should put your cell phone down and actually...I dunno...drive?" And if that doesn't work then...
Pick up a huge rock and drop it on his windshield, then take same rock and pound it once just infront of his gas cap and see if it stops his fuel pump .

And as always! Tell him to HAVE A NICE DAY! .