What does Chuck Norris use to tighten them?

But I've been thinking a lot about breakfast lately and that was what got me to this thread. My theory is that we need something like dog food, but for us. Just a big bag that will keep indefinitely in the tool shed, and anytime you want, you can just scoop out a bowl, add beer and it would be ready to eat.

I'm going to be working on the recipe in the kitchen....