FWIW, you don't "wind up" in the big ring, you shift onto it. if you don't want to be there, don't touch the lever...
Having said that, I started riding in college, and I'm still at it at age 65. Like a lot of novices, I was a masher at first--nobody counted cadence in those days, but I probably averaged 50 or so. When I finally found out that you were supposed to pedal faster in a lower gear, in my 40s, i focused on it and tried to do it. It didn't take long for 9.0 to seem natural, and I stay pretty much around that cadence now.
Of course i'm about three gears lower now, but the cadence is the same...