I've been more confrontational of late...I hesitated to post about this but what the hell:
Was riding from Toledo to Cleveland (about 115 miles door to door) and was on a lightly traveled road (SR6) near Sandusky. It was about 90 and I was dying in the heat so I decided to ditch my lid and just perch it on my right brifter. So pedal pedal pedal, listening to music in 1 ear, just left of the white line. I hear a car coming from behind so I drift over to my right. Right of the white line but not to the rumble strips, and focus on holding my line, don't get squirrelly with the crosswind. All of a sudden WHACK! and I'm looking at my bottom bracket. I look back up and there is some punk ass kid literally hanging out of the passenger side window of an SUV flicking me off with both arms. He had reached out and slapped me on the back of my head/neck. At first I was in shock, but that quickly turned into a blind all consuming rage. I was like 50 miles into my ride so I dialed it up to like 125watts and started to give chase. Luckily / unluckily they didn't make it very far. SR6 is right on Lake Erie and it was 4th of July weekend so there were a lot of people with boats, trailers, that sort of crap. Some guy was slowing down traffic big time trying to back up out of a local eatery with his boat attached, and then shortly thereafter I caught them at a red light.
Now is probably as good a time to mention as any that I was open carrying on this ride. I was using a "tactical" (i hate that term) drop down thigh holster for my (very safe to carry) HK P7. Anyway, I'm not that much of an idiot, but I am an idiot. So I blew through the intersection and on my way past I leaned my entire side into the SUV (Buick Enclave). So the SUV got a nice deep gash from my now dechromed Ultegra shifter and also lost its right side mirror to my shoulder (I'm 185 + Tarmac). I cut a little gash in my shoulder doing this, so I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone. I yell the standard "F U" as I go.
About 2 miles later a cop is waiting for me already pulled over and outside of his car flagging me down. So I pull over and put my hands on top of my head (still without helmet). He talks into his shoulder radio thing and just stands there. About 2 minutes later, another cop and the Black SUV come up and stop behind me. No one gets out of the SUV, but the new cop gets out and walks up towards me. My hands are still on the top of my head and I tell him as he approaches that I am legally carrying a firearm and ask him how he would like to proceed. He thanks me for telling him (I have a duty to do so in Ohio) and for doing so with my hands clearly away from the weapon and just to not grab at it. He goes over and talks with the other cop for a minute and comes back to me and says that the owner of the SUV wants to press charges against me for hitting his car. I tell him I understand and that if he chooses to do so I want both car occupants arrested for assault and explain how I was struck. The cop seems flabbergasted and I tell him to look at the back of my head, where I am sporting a solid welt turning into a bruise (car going at least 25 mph faster than me and someone swinging will leave a mark).
Cops goes back to the SUV and both occupants get and and follow him to where I am standing. Cop asks them if they tried to hit me. The driver immediately goes into this "I didn't know he was going to do it, I was just driving, it wasn't my fault". The cop cuts him off and says something to the affect that the other guy wouldn't be able to hit me w/o him intentionally trying too drive close. The cop then says that he could cite/arrest (can't remember) me for vandalism, but that he'd also arrest them both for assault, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident, and something else like passing too close. (which was why the 2nd cop was there I guess). SUV driver gets all worked up about how I "trashed" his dad's SUV and how I threatened them and pointed my gun at them (all lies). The other kid then goes a step further with this BS and says he thinks I shot the gun but couldn't tell because of the radio. The cop asks me if any of this was true and I went into my "no sir officer, I did not make even the slightest motion towards my firearm. It has remained holstered with no round in the chamber for my entire ride." Cop asks me to inspect my firearm, we go back and forth about how he would like me to give it to him. His inspection was pretty standard. Drops the (fully loaded) magazine, locks the slide back, inspects the grip, smells the gun. Then he asks to see my hands. After about 5 seconds of that he looks at the kids and tells them he doesn't appreciate them lying to him and falsely accusing me of a felony and he could arrest them for giving a false statement.
Bottom line, they wanted nothing to do with filing a report against me and the buddy told his friend "we can just tell your dad someone hit the car in the parking lot at the lake". I told the cops that I had no interest in pursuing charges against the kids. Cops lectured the kids about basically being jerks and respecting other people on the road, not lying to cops, blah blah blah. Kids leave, and the cop talks to me for a minute about how it isn't a good idea in the future for me to do that and how he doesn't want to be out of his air conditioned car for crap like this. Cop gives me back my gun and magazine and tells me to have a good day.
Cliff Notes:
Get slapped by passenger of passing car
Rip of car's mirror at red light
Cops appreciate my vigilante behavior (even if they refuse to acknowledge it)
I make it home in time for fireworks and BBQ
Profit