My heart goes out to you, Tom. My wife also had the arthroscopic gallbladder surgery years ago, and it did her a world of good. But she had to wait and suffer for a year before getting it, because the original day of surgery it was discovered she was pregnant! That was our third and last child, our now-18-year-old daughter.

And I've lost two long-lived cats to illness, too, and I know how it is. Tears your heart out. My prayers are for you and yours, Tom, but yours is not only for strength and understanding, but also for some Rest and equilibrium. No, not Valium. You really must appear strong and rested and vital when you visit your wife after surgery. Won't do her any good to see you exhausted and worn. Be positive and cheery. Your wife wants, needs and deserves your support.