Your post is funny. I think maybe you should just buy new wheels
Me too. Or at least have them built by someone else. If you really hate wheels, you'll hate building them, and you'll rush through the process and get more and more frustrated.
There are tons of rims out there. What are you going to do with them (race, tour, etc.)? How many spokes? Price range? These need to be answered to give a worthwhile response.
How to re-grease your hubs:
http://sheldonbrown.com/tooltips/hubs.html