I must confess that I simply don't understand this US anxiety (nothing personal you understand) about wearing proper bike shorts. I take it you mean lycra/spandex?

Non-cyclist objections seem to oscillate between "Lance Armstrong wannabe - yah boo sucks" and "gay - yah boo sucks/bound for hellfire and damnation".

Why, in any comparison between LAW and lard rippling saggy ass it is the latter which is regarded as more desirable, I simply don't know