Cycling has been my relief, my outlet, from the stress of taking care of my chronically-ill wife. Perhaps because of her disability and being increasingly house-bound, she had a problem with the time that I spent cycling because it took me away from her and from home. I would ask her if she preferred me to stay home and be grumpy or go riding and come home happy, with stories of the outside world to share with her. I did make some compromises when she needed more support than usual, though. That's what you do when you're a care-giver.

Sadly, my wife died in late June, and I now have all the time in the world to ride, but I suddenly realized, while cycling one day, that, although I enjoy my rides, I no longer get that zen high that made cycling so special. I'd rather have her here, giving me grief about cycling every weekend.