Originally Posted by islenska
i don't know why i find this so hysterical. it must be because its SO TRUE. but all this talk of "building equity" and swallowing pride makes me wonder if we are in fact being manipulated. i don't know about you but i hate feeling like i'm "in trouble" when i'm out on a ride, and i hate feeling like "uh oh, boy am i going to get it when i get home."
It is hysterical because it is true. Relationships are all about politics. Who can get away with what? It is all about a (probably never spoken of) agreement. One partner will hold the power and decision making in one area, and the other in an other area. In some cases, unfortunately, one partner holds all the power. In other cases, one partner thinks s/he holds all the power, but the other's passive agressive behaviour actually dominates all the decisions. This sounds so Machiavellian or Marxist, but it is how humans interact. Don't talk to me about shared and equal - there is no such thing - even in the best relationship (of which I include mine, believe it or not).
The "feeling" of being in trouble comes when you have spent long enough with your partner (or parents, for that matter) that you know when you are doing something that you know they would not be happy with - like that night in Vegas with the "performer" - you develop a very strong psycic bond. If you don't, there really isn't much of a relationship there.
It still sucks, though when you feel bad about riding your bike.
Being single is AN answer, but not
THE answer.