Here's my new commuter, to replace the one destroyed in my accident. i decided I needed a bike that would give me escape routes, such as over the curb, on the shoulder, or into the ditch if necessary, and this is what I found. A Talon 29er, Produced by the Giant corporation as a Weapon of Moss Destruction, this bike stares down traffic and says, "I did your mom...backdoor...because she asked nicely." The frame was forged by Chuck Norris from the hardest substance known to man, his johnson. Seismologists register a decrease in the rotation of the earth any time it's brakes are applied. Now sporting street shoes and shiny fenders, she is a commuting armageddon. If you encounter this bike on the road, your only defense is to show it pictures of frolicking kittens. That is its only weakness. You have been warned.