My uncle dropped into to our place one evening after his daily visit to the pub. His handkerchief was covered in blood, and he said he'd been attacked. Mum immediately thought the worst and was very concerned... until he fessed up that the attacker was a local maggie!

Cheeky old bugger he was. Band-aid and a rum fixed him up, and then he was on his way, although i'm sure he would've loved to have stayed for another rum