Wait a minute. You start a thread asking a very basic question and now you want to dismiss an important clarification? The reason the clarification is important is because it is a common n00b mistake to try to hold the speed over rollers with their eyes glued to their computers. So they surge uphill and stop pedalling going back down. Perhaps this, and not your age, is why you sensed irritation from the group.

All the solo riding in the world will not prepare you for working in a group. And if you're asking a question as basic as how hard to pull at the front, it would behoove you to adopt enough humility to try to learn. Either that, or stick to solo riding.