Well guys, what do you want the add to say? I'll have a crack at it aye.

So never biked before and don't know the difference between a decent bike and one that's truly crap, this is the 26" bike is for you.
With mushy suspension and a solid steel frame that weighs a ton you'll get fit in no time.
21 gears, well we don't care about the spec level, hell, we didn't even bother to use the same brakes front and back, the components are what he had left over from other bikes we built, so it's mainly crap. Even the seat will give you a sore ass in about five miles.
We are in a hurry to get them out the door, so you'll have to finish building the bike yourself, we think all the parts are in the box.
Good luck.

Don't think the honest approach will get many sales with this bike.