I think we all respond differently. I have learned over the years of disappointments that I own them. After a serious accident at the age of 59, I got right back on the bike ASAP, which turned out to be a year. I have permanent impaired vision in one eye so like you, I will not recover completely. After 5 years the nerves are still growing back in my arm so feeling is coming back too. In my case it wasn't my doing, but the impact is nearly the same.

I do have scares from "my doing" and have accepted them as the experience of life. If I were injured to the point where I couldn't walk or ride a bike, that would be very tramatic. I am thankful for what I have and had and know that there are others who are far worse than me. I want to complain but just can't get past the blessings I have and had.

My suggestion is to put the bike aside and ride something different, if you have one. You may not need the exposure to the association between the bike and the painful memory until you are healed in every way.

EDIT: I like @Sixty Fiver response too!