I think it is really hard to know what's going to work out well for somebody else. If you're already a regular commuter then you probably have a good idea of what your needs and preferences are. Some people like to have all the commuting do-dads you could possibly want: Integrated locks, dynamo lighting, multiple rack mounts, internal gearing, etc. Others want the most minimalist thing they can get by with. You will not get consensus here.

FWIW I don't have a full carbon bike but I've got a 10 year old "summer" bike with a carbon fork and my winter bike has one too. Though there are certain precautions you have to take with a CF bike (clamping) I don't think they are any more susceptible to damage from typical use and abuse then either aluminum or steel are. On the other hand, something like a hack saw or dremel with a cutting wheel can ruin a CF frame faster than it could aluminum or steel.

I also ride on 23 or 25mm tires for 8 to 9 months out of the year.

I would be very happy to commute on a bike like that (or at least the fixed gear equivalent) but the expense wouldn't be worth it to me at this point in my life. I can be content with something that costs much less and blow the money on something else like a sailing adventure, ski trip, or tropical vacation.