I see a lot of suggestions for Rhyno Lites, while they are incredibly strong rims, I doubt they would fit your OCR.

Since it sounds like you are on a budget and are fairly hard on wheels, I would look at something like the Velocity Dyad or Deep V laced to what ever hubs fit your budget, or even your current hubs if they are in good shape. The A23 is a great rim if you want to keep things a bit lighter. It is what I personally commute on but these other two options are usually cheaper and tougher and it sounds like at this point you value durability above all.

As far as spokes go, I am a firm believer in double butted spokes being far more durable than straight gauge spokes. These are different from straight pull spokes which in my opinion are silly and marketing hype as they were designed to fix a problem that only exists on poorly built wheels. I would say that at your weight, triple butted spokes are overkill and a well built 32 hole wheel should easily be able to handle the abuse you are dishing out.

One note, it sounds like a lot of your issues are with denting rims, which I assume is from things like pot holes or rail road tracks on your commute. If your bike can fit them, I think wider tires could go a long way in protecting your rims from dings and will make for a more comfortable ride with likely no drop in efficiency.