I was basically assaulted while approaching the Manhattan Bridge from Brooklyn today. You know the 1 block of Jay St., right before Sands St., where ALL THE GODDAMN CARS COMING OFF THE BRIDGE AND HEADING TO THE BQE ARE? I hate that block. So I was riding along, not 15 feet behind the car in front of me, and moving just as fast, when I sense danger. I look to my left and there's a pickup screeching to a halt about 2 inches behind me.

He gives me a "what the sh|t?" look, which I return, with venom. While trying to glimpse his license I knock my toeclip into the bollards guarding the bike ramp approach. He laughs and drives off.

So, my question is, since most of us don't carry u-locks anymore, does anyone have a really good system for punishing drivers? I wanted so badly to stand right in front of his truck and knife his tire, but getting off the bike, taking off my gloves, opening my knife and slashing would have been too complicated. I was thinking about getting an iron pipe, or maybe stealing an abandoned straight handlebar, and clipping it to my top tube with a frame pump clip. Then I could just reach down, unclip the pipe, and have at his windows and mirrors.

I'm mostly just venting and kidding, but would still appreciate ideas.

It's so f\/cked up that driving a car makes you cool while riding a bike, unquestionably more difficult and exciting, makes you a geek. Not that I care about being a geek, but riding would be a lot safer and less frustrating if drivers respected us for the superior beings we are. Hmph. Would widespread bicyclist-inflicted violence instill awe and fear, or hatred and revenge?

Oh yeah, and it was a tan, old-model Ford pick-up truck, license number ACX 6319, New York plates. Just sayin'.