my back hurts when I ride........... get a recumbant
my arms hurt when I ride.............get a recubent
my butt hurts, what is a good saddle...........get a recumbunt
my prostrate is enlarged....................get a recumburnt
what is causing all these earthquakes.............get a recurvbent
how do we solve the national debt................get a recumfart
what is your average speed riding............get a reckurmbart

But I want to ride a traditional bike.........idiot....

BTW, I don't own one, don't want one, don't even know how to spell one.