Once upon a time, a newbie cyclist named DanBraden was trying to track down a "creak" and a "pop" that was living inside of his bike named Horse-Feathers.

He tightened his post, he tightened his seat, he tightened his headset he tightened his feet!
But no matter how many nano-newtons he applied that "creak" and that "pop" continued to hide!
"I know" he said on one sunny day, "I'll swap out the wheels to chase it away!"
So feeling so smart and feeling so clever, he swapped out the wheels on the bike he called "Feathers"
But what would then happen? You should already know, but that "pop" and that "creak" they refused to go!

So back to the board did DanBraden go. What could he do? Well, what did he know?
Nothing was good, and nothing had worked and more and more he found himself irked!
"My fingers are greasy, my knuckles are sore, my pockets are empty, and I've hit the floor"
"I know" he said in a moment of clarity, "To the internet I'll go once I muster temerity!"
So off he went in search of a clue, but to get some respect he had to pay dues.
He was goaded and chided by all he encountered and he delighted the trolls with the tales of his flounder...
"A Flounder" you say, "Do you mean the fish?" There is SOMETHING that smells, but it’s certainly not this!

Then like a light at the end of a tunnel, He read that the BB was where his efforts should funnel.
"At last" he said all full of hope, "I had nearly reached the end of my rope!"
"I'll take it apart, all the way to the BB and find those darn noises which so far elude me!"
But saying and doing are two different things, and poor DanBraden would learn just what that would mean.
For once he removed all that he could, he was stuck with a BB that seemed frozen for good!
So he hammered and cursed, and he cursed and he hammered till finally he settled on one special spanner.
The spanner, you see, turned out to be key for it had special little teeth which aligned perfectly.
So with one mighty grunt and a spray of hot metal, off came the cups with which he intended to meddle.

It was then that DanBraden learned an important lesson; you oughtn’t be messin with what you've been messin...
But in for a penny and in for pound, DanBraden would drive out those horrible sounds.
So another BB did Danbraden order, one that was nicer and made him much poorer.
And when it arrived he marveled at its beauty, "How can I install this without getting screwy?"
Then he remembered how much he had hated that "creak" and that "pop" and how they had grated.
So he wrenched and the kirfed, and he kirfed and he wrenched till finally that BB went in like a cinch!
On went the cranks, and on went chain, and back he put Feathers together again!

And Lo and Behold, but what do you think?
That "pop" and that "creak" away they did slink!

THE END

The moral of the story? F bottom brackets...F them in the A