Alot of sprung saddle designs emerged form the early bike industry when most people say upright, which sent road shock directly up the spine. The spine does fine while standing or walking because all the muscles from the feet to the hips absorb im pacts. Stick that same sopine directly on the impact source (saddle) and it beats the lower back muscles. hence, saddles which absorbed shock.

If the OP rides upright (which is his stated wont) then a sprung saddle, as long as it is sufficiently strong ( please see@seamuis's post #110 ) would be fine. As for the size of the saddle, if he is sitting on it, not straddling it, the width is irrelevant. As for all the padding, he might find that a too-soft saddle leads to lots fo sliding around, but if, as seems to be the case, he does only short rides at low intensity, a tractor-type saddle should be fine.

Simple concept---different tools are best suited for different jobs. For a cyclist putting most of his weight on his buttocks, sitting bolt upright, a wide, sprung saddle makes sense.

My issue with the OP was his ridiculous, whiny, self-pitying, self-important, entitled, selfish attitude, not he way he rides a bike or the type of bike he likes to ride. Anyone who walks around complaining that the whole world isn't custom-constructed to meet his or her fleeting whims is .... exactly that. No less could be said.

But as for wide, sprung seats ... not an issue.