I've used [secret grease] for X decades and it works perfectly, so it is the best of all grease. Don't confuse me with the fact that I have not tried any other grease in that time -- only my [secret grease] is absolute best of all time. Don't mention the concepts of double-blind testing or confirmation bias. And don't mention the fact that most brands are just repackaged industrial grease and that there are really only a very few unique types among a vast number of brands that claim to be best. Also, don't denigrate crass marketing claims; I was told that my [secret grease] is best and therefore I am best (thus better than all of you).