Originally Posted by canklecat

If by "don't care" you mean different priorities, that's a normal part of aging.

At 61, having spent much of the past 20 years as a caregiver for three successive older family members until they died, I've watched the effects of aging and, now, am experiencing it firsthand.

I used to joke that old people drove recklessly, carelessly or indifferently because their attitude was "I'm old, dammit, get outta my way. I don't care anymore!" Actually it turned out most of them simply have diminished vision, reflexes, and situational awareness.

But it doesn't affect everyone the same. For example, there's a bit of conventional wisdom tossed around the media and pop culture that claims most people become more "conservative" with age. That hasn't been my experience at all. They do tend to become more intolerant. But that doesn't indicate anything about their views on politics, the economy, religion, etc.

Some of my friends my age and older, including a couple I've known since college, range from extreme right to extreme left. What they share is the same intolerance for opposing views. They aren't interested in conversations or persuasion, only in shoving their opinions at everyone else. On Facebook they just meme at each other, posting a dozen or more times a day, all extremist right or left articles, images, etc.

A few folks are still very tolerant and moderate in views, but they don't express themselves often. In part that's because our acquaintances who hold extreme left or right views tend to regard with mistrust or contempt anyone who has a moderate or balanced perspective. So I tend to avoid conversations or debates with some of my acquaintances because their attitude is usually "My way or the highway. Disagree in the slightest tiny detail and I'll unfriend you."

So in that regard they care. They care about their own perspective and no one else's. They don't care about other people's differing or nuanced perspectives or experiences. They've lost some capacity for empathy. I've watched it happen gradually over the past decade. It's not just due to social media or pop culture or anything else. They've gotten older and, facing imminent mortality, they feel there's no time to waste on anyone or anything who doesn't meet their standards and demands. They care. They just don't care about you.

Retaining a sense of empathy, compassion or a moderate and flexible perspective takes a lot of effort. It's harder to hold onto as we see death around us, experience the effects of aging -- less energy, chronic pain, diminishing physical functions -- and see others committing the same mistakes we made when we were younger.

Caring is a PITA. It means I can't just drag rude and reckless drivers out of their vehicles after they've nearly killed me and beat them like pinatas until the candy spills out. It means we have to show equal regard for deaths of loved ones of friends as we do for births, despite not having the right words to offer in a show of compassion. It's easier to find something to be angry about as a distraction, because it feeds our brain chemical triggers that invigorate us and make us feel alive. We rarely feel more alive than when we're under the sway of righteous indignation.