Wait till the Mormons get hold of Expat?

The funniest thing I have ever heard on the radio was the student radio station in Auckland reading out a guide given out to fresh off the plane Mormon missionary boys (you know the fresh faced door knocking lads with Utah accents that visit every now and then) to help them keep themselves "pure" whilst away from home. i.e. How to avoid w@nking or worse.

Handy tips extended to tying the action arm to ones side or even wearing a wetsuit to bed so as to keep from choking the chicken.

Larf, I had to stop the car and try not to wee myself it was so cackingly funny