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Old 02-28-23 | 08:15 AM
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Bob Ross
your god hates me
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I was a sprinter in junior high school, and if it weren't for the fact that junior high school was 50 years ago I might even be able to remember what some of my times in the 60 and 100 were (yards, not meters, since we're talking 'Murica). I wouldn't be surprised if I could still throw down a respectable 40 yard dash, with the following caveats:
- gotta be NFL style with the "moving start" there's no way I can go from a dead stop at the sound of a starting pistol any more; and
- if for any reason I need to deviate from an absolutely stright line -- e.g., if the clown next to me veers out of his lane, or if there's a pile of dog poop in my lane that I can't clear by going up & over -- all bets are off, because I have completely lost the ability to execute any sort of side-to-side motion. Thanks, knees.
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