the link is actually fine. i took a dremel and filed down the edges on the pin just a tiny bit, so i could get it to sit atop the hole of the link (but not actually go in it). then i just kept trying to smack it in with a hammer. took about 20 tries, but eventually it went in enough that i could put it in the chain tool and push it all the way in. bikes all back together now, happy, safe and sound. tomorrow i'll be putting on new wheels (hopefully) and next week its paint time. woo hoo.