This is a true story that happened to me a while back. I thought you non-conformist types might appreciate it.

Back in school I was carless and my sole means of transportation was a 70's era full-Campy Schwinn Paramount. Not that I'm complaining; those were the good ol' days. On a Sunday morning ride I came up on a church service letting out. The intersection was gridlocked, so I slowed and rolled through, safely. There happened to be a cop there, not helping out or directing traffic, but just sitting in his air conditioned patrol car. He turns on his siren, but is held up by the traffic. By the time he roars up behind me I am a half mile up the road, and I know I can't out run him.

But out of the corner of my eye I spot a big log hidden in the tall grass of the right shoulder. So I come to a graceful stop 25 feet ahead at the side of the road, knowing where he is going to pull off and park on the grassy shoulder. I patiently wait and then.... POW, WHAM, SMACK, BUMBA BUMBA, BOING, CRUNCH, BOING, RUMBA RUMBA, CRUNCH, BING!, RATTLE RATTLE.

He had rolled over the log which bashed the entire length of the patrol car's undercarriage. I knew all I had to do was keep a straight face and I would not get a ticket. When he got out of his patrol car his face was BEET RED from anger and embarassment.

He stood outside his patrol car with a beet red face and gave me a warning. No ticket. He was so angry that if I had smirked, it probably would have taken him over the edge. I kept a straight face, nodded to what he was telling me, and got out of there as soon as I could.

I knew he couldn't write me a ticket, as he then would have had to explain to his station commander how he damaged the undercarriage of his patrol car while chasing down a bicyclist. He probably went home and kicked his dog that day. Maybe he considered a career change.