Greetings everyone. I've been away for a couple weeks and wish to share some insights I've had as a result. On the morning of June 3, I checked myself into the emergency room after realizing I was passing blood in my stools for at least 12 hours (don't ask why it took me that long before I realized that, denial probably was a large part of it). I thought I was going in because of an ulcerated colon. It turns out that I was bleeding through ruptured varicose veins in my esophagus as a result of stage C cirrhosis of the liver. I had at least six units of blood put into me (maybe as much as eight units, but I was so out of it most of the time I forget which number is correct), several liters of saline solution, Vitamin K, beta-blockers, diuretics, high-potency iron with Vitamin C, and a Nexium-like medication. I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist next week who will refer me to a hepatologist and a liver transplant evaluation.

Before going into the hospital, I was looking forward to a summer of riding to work and saving money for a new bike. Now, things have changed. A new bike is no longer that important to me. To be honest, there were a few moments when I thought (even wished) that I would die. In fact, I got to a point where I was a peace with the idea of dying, although I was still worried that I hadn't provided enough for my wife in case I should die. Now, I am just trying to maintain my current condition until I receive a new liver.

It's sad, in a way, that it came down to this, but, in the end, I'll be a better person because of it. My wife and I have committed ourselves to eating and living better. Less processed foods and more whole foods; more exercise; more quality time together. Sure, a new bike would be nice, but it would not even come close to having a new liver and a fresh start on life.