That's pretty hilarious. Not me. I am a teacher and do bike to work every day when it's not snowy/icy but the only things I ever come close to hitting on the trail are deer and pheasants. Too bad they're in city limits.
Still working on it. I do have parts to build my own Xtracycle, it's finding the time to make it during the school year. So far I haven't had to bike past any gates, they seem to repel rednecks and we have the roads to walk all by ourselves - no need to go deep into the woods yet. Plus everyone is out bow hunting... except me.