Ahhh... now you've got to the secret part. Proclaim yoursefl as a cricket fan, and place yourself firmly in the most comfy chair you can find in front of the TV. Then you can get away with myriad sins. Need sleep? Dodge off for a bit. Need a drink? Pull the tab on a tinnie. Need some privacy and space from the missus? Turn up the volume, or start yelling loudly with delight at even the most ineffective shot/ball/fielding, and she'll disappear quicksmart.