I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
So... if I've properly understood the lengthy sniping, we should re-name this forum to "Riding Your Bike Places So We Can Go Do Stuff."
Wait...what if you don't really do anything at work? That's like riding your bike to sit under a tree and doesn't fit Merriam Webster (The Holy reference book for pointless debates) .. Oh my God.. This DOES get complicated.