LOL! You are thinking exactly like me. I think the first thing I would do is scratch it - on purpose.

If you can't ride it, what good is it. Bicycles are not "art", they are machines. Their highest state of perfection is to be used for what they were designed - to be ridden.

The "Shakers" would purposefully place an imperfection in everything they made. This was to keep them from the pursuiit of perfection, which was deemed to be prideful, willful and an attempt to make oneself God-like; God being the only One who can be or make perfection.