My Chinese is only rudimentary, but the
World Journal, had an article that translated pretty much as follows:
Alberto Contador has been in hiding near his hometown since Tuesday evening, having been hounded by a group known locally as the "Lance Patrol". Members of the "Patrol" were observed outside Contador's house brandishing toy pistols, throwing water balloons at his bedroom window and perfoming the Danish national anthem on bagpipes.
"Lance himself phoned me and offered to call off the dogs if I agreed to hand over my trophy and to set up my own twitter account", Contador said, via cell phone. "I refused, as I believe twitter to be an instrument of the devil. And the trophy is being used as a paperweight to hold down all the offers I'm receiving from other teams for next year's TDF. Put that in your seat bag and sit on it, Tandy-Boy."
Armstrong did not immediately return our phone calls, but a message on his twitter account, which was hastily deleted, said, "The kid is just making things up again. btw, if you run out of balloons, there's a Superna store just down the street."
That's the best I can do. You'll have to translate the rest of it yourself.