I stayed with John (jamawami) last year at his house on my little bike tour from St Louis over to Yellowstone (ok it was supposed to be Oregon, but that's how far I got). John was the most gracious and generous host anyone could ask for - he completely opened up his home to me, spent a lot of time, and even took me for a little day trip up into the hills in his truck Fred. Of course we knew each other somewhat personally already via Crazyguyonabike, and he had helped me plan out the tour (in fact he planned it out completely for me). He's always lending his extensive experience on crazyguyonabike to help people who are looking for good routes across remote parts of America. All this is just by way of saying, he is one of the most generous people I know.

Everybody has a limit, a point where the big red B.S. alarm bells start ringing and you just say "enough". That doesn't make you liberal or conservative, it makes you a real human being. Only someone who was pathologically insecure and mousey would let strangers walk all over them all the time. John's obviously not such a person, as he said he has a life and has the right to expect the courtesy of reasonable communications from people if they aren't going to show up on time. From his descriptions of how this one went, I would agree that these people were treating him like a free hotel, rather than a gracious host. In their minds, I think, they were just seeing him as a resource to be used, rather than a person who was trying to help them. I see this all the time, as I outlined at length in my previous post on this thread. The moochers tend to ruin it for everybody else, since they harden people and make them think twice about helping others.

Having said all that, I also should add that I've had a few really good experiences with hosting bicycle tourists. We had a very pleasant couple stay with us back in St Louis, they were coming from Chicago and on their way to California on Route 66. They were just sweet youngsters, we took them to Whole Foods for a load up on groceries and had a great dinner, and they were on their way the next day. It was great. I think probably most bicycle tourists are like this. On another occasion we had Victor Weinreber (another crazyguyonabike) stay with us - he was on a somewhat epic ride, and again we already knew each other, and he stayed for a week. Super nice guy, no problems whatsoever. In fact I made him stay a little longer so we could finish watching Battlestar Galactica on DVD!

I think the thing with people is, you have to take each new person without laying any of the baggage left by other asshats on them. It's just not fair to do that. But at the same time you have to take general precautions based on experience... for me currently, being on the Pacific Coast route, and seeing how many "homeless" people are always trying to mooch change of me around Eureka (some of them seeming to have a lot of their possessions on a bicycle) I just find myself being a bit more cautious about opening up my home. Like I said before, it's a bit easier when you're "off the beaten track", I think, since any bicycle tourists are more likely to be "real". Here, on the pacific coast highway, you just never know, it's more of a crapshoot.

It's interesting that someone commented that maybe I have some "conservative" in me, because I have these mixed views about hosting people. This is a bit silly - of course we all have both liberal and conservative sides, it's like yin and yang, it would be unhealthy to be completely one or completely the other. It's about balance and common sense (and, of course, where you draw THAT line is what politics is all about, so we probably shouldn't go there). It's all just opinions, after all, and we throw our hat in the ring and see who spits on it.

Neil