for a commuter bike, how many spokes would you recomend? I weigh 170, and carry anywhere from
10 to 25lbs. most of the commute is on good roads. I do jump off or onto curbs every once in a while.

32
But more important than that, get a wheel that has good equal tension throughout the whole wheel (well on each side for dished wheels)

I weigh anywhere from 180-200 and sometimes commute with 25-40lbs of crap on my back (not often but I am often elected the pack mule) 32 spoke well built wheel has done me well

32 spokes is plenty for your needs. Get decent rims and hubs too. And build quality has just as much to do with the wheel strength as spoke count.

Hard to beat a 36 hole with a slightly heavier rim. Should be built with double butted spokes. 15 guage is fine.
This would be a build it and forget it wheel. You might get tired of looking at it before you wear it out.