The Zero bike
08-04-17 | 02:36 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Bike Butcher of Portland
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 12,473
Likes: 8,032
From: Portland, OR
Bikes: It's complicated.
The Zero bike
We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-04-17 | 03:01 PM
#2
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 15,396
Likes: 8,314
From: Seattle area
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
This is new to you?
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
__________________
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
08-04-17 | 03:09 PM
#3
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 15,396
Likes: 8,314
From: Seattle area
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
I would store one in Portland, but which one? Maybe it should be two....or N+1.
shame [MENTION=381793]gugie[/MENTION] is so short.....and hates o-rings.
shame [MENTION=381793]gugie[/MENTION] is so short.....and hates o-rings.
__________________
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
08-04-17 | 03:34 PM
#4
Banned.
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 12,292
Likes: 4,863
From: PAZ
I have a zero bike, just didn't know that's what it was. This is in Phoenix patiently awaiting my next visit:
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
08-04-17 | 03:41 PM
#5
Extraordinary Magnitude
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 14,081
Likes: 2,138
From: Waukesha WI
Bikes: 1978 Trek TX700; 1978/79 Trek 736; 1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1984 Schwinn Voyageur SP; 1985 Trek 620; 1985 Trek 720; 1986 Trek 400 Elance; 1987 Schwinn High Sierra; 1990 Miyata 1000LT
We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
__________________
*Recipient of the 2006 Time Magazine "Person Of The Year" Award*
Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
08-04-17 | 04:16 PM
#6
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,722
Likes: 1,698
From: Berkeley CA
Bikes: 1981 Ron Cooper, 1974 Cinelli Speciale Corsa, 1975 Alex Singer, 2000 Gary Fisher Sugar 1, 1986 Miyata 710, 1982 Raleigh "International", 1985 Trek 720
That's nothing. Try doing it with cars. I currently have an Austin Healey in my friend's garage.
08-04-17 | 04:43 PM
#7
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 18,803
Likes: 11,616
Back when I was commuting on CalTrain up and down the peninsula to various teaching gigs, I'd leave bikes parked at the train stations, which I'd use to complete my commute.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
08-04-17 | 06:41 PM
#9
Thread Starter
Bike Butcher of Portland
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 12,473
Likes: 8,032
From: Portland, OR
Bikes: It's complicated.
It's a Zero bike.
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-04-17 | 08:57 PM
#10
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 15,396
Likes: 8,314
From: Seattle area
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
Here's my very 'zero bike' in Arkansas.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
__________________
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
Vintage, modern, e-road. It is a big cycling universe.
08-04-17 | 10:26 PM
#11
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,951
Likes: 688
From: Port Angeles, WA
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
08-05-17 | 12:10 AM
#12
Banned.
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 12,292
Likes: 4,863
From: PAZ
My brother is in town in a couple days and wants to visit the Kitsap Peninsula. Hmmm...
DD
08-05-17 | 03:16 AM
#13
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,565
Likes: 2,740
From: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada - burrrrr!
Bikes: 1958 Rabeneick 120D, 1968 Legnano Gran Premio, 196? Torpado Professional, 2000 Marinoni Piuma
Never underestimate your significant other's ability to see through a veil of BS(advice from a guy who has been married to the same gal for 49 years).
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
__________________
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
08-05-17 | 05:56 AM
#14
I don't know, subterfuges to get around the SO, and increasing clutter at a friend's abode, sound like a good way to lose both the SO and the friend . . . for some, making complicated plans for going to the mattresses ends up at sleeping with the fishes.
Last edited by Charles Wahl; 08-05-17 at 06:08 AM.
08-05-17 | 12:22 PM
#15
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,951
Likes: 688
From: Port Angeles, WA
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
I suppose the cycling corollary to that could be "A good friend will help you hide; a really good friend will help you hide a bicycle."
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
08-05-17 | 12:56 PM
#16
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,426
Likes: 737
From: Kingdom of Hawai'i
Bikes: Peugeot, Legnano, Fuji, Zunow, De Rosa, Miyata, Bianchi, Pinarello, Specialized, Bridgestone, Cinelli, Merckx
08-06-17 | 07:16 PM
#17
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,619
Likes: 385
From: Back in Lincoln Sq, Chicago...🙄
Bikes: '84 Miyata 610 ‘91 Cannondale ST600,'83 Trek 720 ‘84 Trek 520, 620, ‘91 Miyata 1000LT, '79 Trek 514, '78 Trek 706, '73 Raleigh Int. frame.
08-06-17 | 07:21 PM
#18
Senior Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 10,106
Likes: 2,760
From: Fredericksburg, Va
Bikes: ? Proteous, '65 Frejus TDF, '73 Bottecchia Giro d'Italia, '83 Colnago Superissimo, '84 Trek 610, '84 Trek 760, '88 Pinarello Veneto, '88 De Rosa Pro, '89 Pinarello Montello, 'Litespeed Catalyst'94 Burley Duet, 97 Specialized RockHopper, 2010 Langster
I have 0+0=0
__________________
Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
08-06-17 | 09:46 PM
#19
Master Parts Rearranger
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 4,848
Likes: 2,802
From: Portlandia's Kuiper Belt, OR
Bikes: 1987 Woodrup Competition - 2025 Trek Checkpoint SL 6 Gen 3 - 1987 Lotus Legend - 2024 Trek Emonda ALR Rim Brake - 1980 Trek 510 - 1988 Cannondale SR500 - 1985 Trek 670 - 1982 Trek 730
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
08-07-17 | 01:09 AM
#20
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,951
Likes: 688
From: Port Angeles, WA
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
Last edited by Lascauxcaveman; 08-07-17 at 01:12 AM.
08-07-17 | 05:07 AM
#21
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,565
Likes: 2,740
From: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada - burrrrr!
Bikes: 1958 Rabeneick 120D, 1968 Legnano Gran Premio, 196? Torpado Professional, 2000 Marinoni Piuma
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there.
Taking a bike with me on an airplane cost quite a bit, there and back.
__________________
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
08-07-17 | 05:27 AM
#22
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 12,940
Likes: 363
. I'd rather haul a bike around the get one discovered I had hidden from the wife (only 41 years in our case
) And, I ain't ever flying with a bike ever again, after last April's molestation by AA when I had followed every single point in their "bike in case as checked luggage" trap. Still hit me up for oversized and delicate charges, never again. I'll drive for days before I fly anywhere on an airline. Money hungry, power mad cretins. /end rant mode/
08-07-17 | 01:57 PM
#23
Thread Starter
Bike Butcher of Portland
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 12,473
Likes: 8,032
From: Portland, OR
Bikes: It's complicated.
My wife doesn't have an inventory of my bikes (whose does?) but she sees a pile and does notice when there's another one. Moving one out to a friend's house creates an empty hook in the garage...
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-07-17 | 02:43 PM
#24
Full Member
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 387
Likes: 17
From: Iowa
Bikes: COLNAGO! Litespeed, Motobecane, Peugeot, Gitane, Fuji, Nishiki, Centurion, Panasonic, Giant, Trek, Cannondale, Raleigh, Bianchi, Winsor
Ah, but parting is such sweet sorrow.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
EDIT: I wish I had a place to stash a couple bikes. I have two new ones showing up that I haven't confessed to yet....
