The Zero bike
08-04-17, 02:36 PM
#1
Bike Butcher of Portland
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 11,512
Bikes: It's complicated.
Mentioned: 1283 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4595 Post(s)
Liked 5,478 Times
in
2,192 Posts
The Zero bike
We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Likes For gugie:
08-04-17, 03:01 PM
#2
Veteran, Pacifist
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Seattle area
Posts: 13,026
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
Mentioned: 280 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3734 Post(s)
Liked 4,354 Times
in
2,036 Posts
This is new to you?
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
Likes For Wildwood:
08-04-17, 03:09 PM
#3
Veteran, Pacifist
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Seattle area
Posts: 13,026
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
Mentioned: 280 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3734 Post(s)
Liked 4,354 Times
in
2,036 Posts
I would store one in Portland, but which one? Maybe it should be two....or N+1.
shame @gugie is so short.....and hates o-rings.
shame @gugie is so short.....and hates o-rings.
08-04-17, 03:34 PM
#4
Banned.
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PAZ
Posts: 12,394
Mentioned: 255 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2586 Post(s)
Liked 4,819 Times
in
1,709 Posts
I have a zero bike, just didn't know that's what it was. This is in Phoenix patiently awaiting my next visit:
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
08-04-17, 03:41 PM
#5
Extraordinary Magnitude
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Waukesha WI
Posts: 13,547
Bikes: 1978 Trek TX700; 1978/79 Trek 736; 1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1984 Schwinn Voyageur SP; 1985 Trek 620; 1985 Trek 720; 1986 Trek 400 Elance; 1987 Schwinn High Sierra; 1990 Miyata 1000LT
Mentioned: 83 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2555 Post(s)
Liked 1,581 Times
in
873 Posts
We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
__________________
*Recipient of the 2006 Time Magazine "Person Of The Year" Award*
Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
08-04-17, 04:16 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Berkeley CA
Posts: 2,489
Bikes: 1981 Ron Cooper, 1974 Cinelli Speciale Corsa, 2000 Gary Fisher Sugar 1, 1986 Miyata 710, 1982 Raleigh "International"
Mentioned: 97 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 896 Post(s)
Liked 1,203 Times
in
452 Posts
That's nothing. Try doing it with cars. I currently have an Austin Healey in my friend's garage.
08-04-17, 04:43 PM
#7
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 16,913
Mentioned: 468 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3682 Post(s)
Liked 6,089 Times
in
2,437 Posts
Back when I was commuting on CalTrain up and down the peninsula to various teaching gigs, I'd leave bikes parked at the train stations, which I'd use to complete my commute.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
08-04-17, 05:22 PM
#8
wizard
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 38
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
Haha, I like the term. I keep a bike at work just to relieve some space at home, kinda of similar, but it doesn't count as zero because those close to me knew damn well why it's here.
08-04-17, 06:41 PM
#9
Bike Butcher of Portland
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 11,512
Bikes: It's complicated.
Mentioned: 1283 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4595 Post(s)
Liked 5,478 Times
in
2,192 Posts
It's a Zero bike.
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-04-17, 08:57 PM
#10
Veteran, Pacifist
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Seattle area
Posts: 13,026
Bikes: Bikes??? Thought this was social media?!?
Mentioned: 280 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3734 Post(s)
Liked 4,354 Times
in
2,036 Posts
Here's my very 'zero bike' in Arkansas.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
08-04-17, 10:26 PM
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Port Angeles, WA
Posts: 8,016
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
Mentioned: 194 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1626 Post(s)
Liked 624 Times
in
355 Posts
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
08-05-17, 12:10 AM
#12
Banned.
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PAZ
Posts: 12,394
Mentioned: 255 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2586 Post(s)
Liked 4,819 Times
in
1,709 Posts
My brother is in town in a couple days and wants to visit the Kitsap Peninsula. Hmmm...
DD
08-05-17, 03:16 AM
#13
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada - burrrrr!
Posts: 11,640
Bikes: 1958 Rabeneick 120D, 1968 Legnano Gran Premio, 196? Torpado Professional, 2000 Marinoni Piuma
Mentioned: 210 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1361 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1,708 Times
in
920 Posts
Never underestimate your significant other's ability to see through a veil of BS(advice from a guy who has been married to the same gal for 49 years).
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
__________________
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
Likes For randyjawa:
08-05-17, 05:56 AM
#14
Disraeli Gears
I don't know, subterfuges to get around the SO, and increasing clutter at a friend's abode, sound like a good way to lose both the SO and the friend . . . for some, making complicated plans for going to the mattresses ends up at sleeping with the fishes.
Last edited by Charles Wahl; 08-05-17 at 06:08 AM.
Likes For Charles Wahl:
08-05-17, 12:22 PM
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Port Angeles, WA
Posts: 8,016
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
Mentioned: 194 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1626 Post(s)
Liked 624 Times
in
355 Posts
I suppose the cycling corollary to that could be "A good friend will help you hide; a really good friend will help you hide a bicycle."
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
Likes For Lascauxcaveman:
08-05-17, 12:56 PM
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Kingdom of Hawai'i
Posts: 1,226
Bikes: Peugeot, Legnano, Fuji, Zunow, De Rosa, Miyata, Bianchi, Pinarello, Specialized, Bridgestone, Cinelli
Mentioned: 17 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 405 Post(s)
Liked 399 Times
in
189 Posts
I like your math, @gugie.
08-06-17, 07:16 PM
#17
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Back in Lincoln Sq, Chicago...🙄
Posts: 1,661
Bikes: '84 Miyata 610 ‘91 Cannondale ST600,'83 Trek 720 ‘84 Trek 520, 620, ‘91 Miyata 1000LT, '79 Trek 514, '78 Trek 706, '73 Raleigh Int. frame.
Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 668 Post(s)
Liked 346 Times
in
208 Posts
08-06-17, 07:21 PM
#18
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fredericksburg, Va
Posts: 9,457
Bikes: '65 Frejus TDF, '73 Bottecchia Giro d'Italia, '83 Colnago Superissimo, '84 Trek 610, '84 Trek 760, '88 Pinarello Veneto, '88 De Rosa Pro, '89 Pinarello Montello, '94 Burley Duet, 97 Specialized RockHopper, 2010 Langster, Tern Link D8
Mentioned: 70 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1554 Post(s)
Liked 2,110 Times
in
1,048 Posts
I have 0+0=0
__________________
Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
Bikes don't stand alone. They are two tired.
Likes For SJX426:
08-06-17, 09:46 PM
#19
Master Parts Rearranger
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Portlandia's Kuiper Belt, OR
Posts: 4,567
Bikes: 1982 Trek 720 - 1985 Trek 620 - Other luminaries past and present
Mentioned: 216 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1506 Post(s)
Liked 1,837 Times
in
921 Posts
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
Likes For RiddleOfSteel:
08-07-17, 01:09 AM
#20
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Port Angeles, WA
Posts: 8,016
Bikes: A green one, "Ragleigh," or something.
Mentioned: 194 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1626 Post(s)
Liked 624 Times
in
355 Posts
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
__________________
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
Last edited by Lascauxcaveman; 08-07-17 at 01:12 AM.
Likes For Lascauxcaveman:
08-07-17, 05:07 AM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada - burrrrr!
Posts: 11,640
Bikes: 1958 Rabeneick 120D, 1968 Legnano Gran Premio, 196? Torpado Professional, 2000 Marinoni Piuma
Mentioned: 210 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1361 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1,708 Times
in
920 Posts
I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there.
Taking a bike with me on an airplane cost quite a bit, there and back.
__________________
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
08-07-17, 05:27 AM
#22
Semper Fi
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Barrineau Park, Florida
Posts: 12,911
Bikes: Cannondale CAAD 10-Utegra, Medici Pro Strada, Tomassini, Schwinn Super Sport
Mentioned: 88 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1160 Post(s)
Liked 323 Times
in
217 Posts
. I'd rather haul a bike around the get one discovered I had hidden from the wife (only 41 years in our case
) And, I ain't ever flying with a bike ever again, after last April's molestation by AA when I had followed every single point in their "bike in case as checked luggage" trap. Still hit me up for oversized and delicate charges, never again. I'll drive for days before I fly anywhere on an airline. Money hungry, power mad cretins. /end rant mode/
__________________
Semper Fi, USMC, 1975-1977
I Can Do All Things Through Him, Who Gives Me Strength. Philippians 4:13
Semper Fi, USMC, 1975-1977
I Can Do All Things Through Him, Who Gives Me Strength. Philippians 4:13
08-07-17, 01:57 PM
#23
Bike Butcher of Portland
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 11,512
Bikes: It's complicated.
Mentioned: 1283 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4595 Post(s)
Liked 5,478 Times
in
2,192 Posts
My wife doesn't have an inventory of my bikes (whose does?) but she sees a pile and does notice when there's another one. Moving one out to a friend's house creates an empty hook in the garage...
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-07-17, 02:43 PM
#24
Full Member
Ah, but parting is such sweet sorrow.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
EDIT: I wish I had a place to stash a couple bikes. I have two new ones showing up that I haven't confessed to yet....
08-07-17, 03:35 PM
#25
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Berwyn PA
Posts: 6,412
Bikes: I hate bikes!
Mentioned: 39 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 423 Post(s)
Liked 679 Times
in
228 Posts
I understand that most of this thread is tongue-in-cheek but there is a facet of it that comes off a bit pathetic.
Likes For fender1:
