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Amusing Pie-Plate rant on BikeSnobNYC

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Old 05-06-08, 02:15 PM
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Amusing Pie-Plate rant on BikeSnobNYC

https://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008...out-spoke.html

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The Old Road Bike Pie Plate

While I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to pie plates, I also understand that not everybody realizes they need to be removed. Sadly, too few bike shops take it upon themselves to do it or to educate their customers. Hopefully, one day that will change, and I for one am trying to do my part by raising public awareness. But in the meantime I think a grace period between new bike purchase and pie plate removal is warranted. Let’s call it six months. By that time you should have either figured out your pie plate needs to go, or you should have had to remove or change your cassette for some reason, in which case (hopefully) logic would dictate a pie platectomy.

After that, though, you are in clear violation. I regularly see road bikes that are five, ten, even twenty years old that still have pie plates on them. If your bike has both downtube shifters and a pie plate on it, you are exhibiting a disregard for propriety that is nearly inhuman. Only a sociopath could be capable of such a thing. In fact, while I believe we cyclists should regulate ourselves, in this case I think the perpetrator should be turned over to the police. According to the controversial “broken window” theory, chances are someone with a yellowed pie plate on a twenty year-old bicycle is also guilty of something else. He’s probably also using an Italian crank on a JIS spindle, planning a bank robbery, and keeping kidnapping victims duct-taped in his basement.
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Old 05-06-08, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Dork Disk
https://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008...out-spoke.html

C&V highlight:

The Old Road Bike Pie Plate

I regularly see road bikes that are five, ten, even twenty years old that still have pie plates on them. If your bike has both downtube shifters and a pie plate on it, you are exhibiting a disregard for propriety that is nearly inhuman.
I take exception. Bikes older than 20 years are exempt. Besides, I love jewelry and adornments hung artfully on those about whom I care deeply.

This guy, he probably likes his SO not to shave--anywhere. And no jewelry, either. And I bet he's a food fascist too-no gluten, no peanuts and the zenith of NYC urban hip Johnny Come Lately political correctness, no truck with anything or anyone north of Hunts Point.

I mean, look at this Suntour beauty original to a 1984 Miyata 610...

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Old 05-06-08, 03:20 PM
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mmm, i like pie.
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Old 05-06-08, 03:34 PM
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So what's the issue with spoke protectors? Aren't they functional, after all? Or are they just some useless appendage that no right-thinking cyclist would want cluttering the beauty of her/his machine?
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Old 05-06-08, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Order
So what's the issue with spoke protectors? Aren't they functional, after all? Or are they just some useless appendage that no right-thinking cyclist would want cluttering the beauty of her/his machine?
They're only functional for someone who keeps their derailler adjusted so it goes into the spokes.

On a properly set-up bike they have no use or purpose. They're usually a sign of a rider uninvolved with their machine. Kinda like adding streamers; no harm really, but you're still a dork.

Last edited by dbakl; 05-06-08 at 04:13 PM.
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Old 05-06-08, 04:29 PM
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Not on an old Schwinn they are a part of the bling when all cleaned and polished. The plastic ones really suck though
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Old 05-06-08, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by dbakl
They're only functional for someone who keeps their derailler adjusted so it goes into the spokes.

On a properly set-up bike they have no use or purpose. They're usually a sign of a rider uninvolved with their machine. Kinda like adding streamers; no harm really, but you're still a dork.

And yet the story I always hear is that the derailleur got bumped and the guy shifted into his spokes and ruined a wheel. After a rant like that, someone will probably find where Mr. Bikesnob parks and "adjust" his derailleur just a titch.

Me? I love 'em. The more garish the better. I wish I could figure out a way to put them on modern bikes -- big chrome jobs.

Last edited by reverborama; 05-07-08 at 07:34 AM.
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Old 05-06-08, 07:40 PM
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Dork disk art:



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Old 05-06-08, 07:47 PM
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I only have one "pie plate" bike, my Nishiki. I did the same thing I did in 1973, I took that ugly thing off! Only this time I hung it on my workbench with all the crank sets.

The ONLY ones I would even tolerate are the really small ones used on early 60's Schwinns. They kept the chain from overshifting into the spokes and did nothing to keep your RD out of the spokes. That is what adjustments are for.
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Old 05-06-08, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by dbakl
They're only functional for someone who keeps their derailler adjusted so it goes into the spokes.

On a properly set-up bike they have no use or purpose. They're usually a sign of a rider uninvolved with their machine. Kinda like adding streamers; no harm really, but you're still a dork.
Originally Posted by reverborama
And yet the story I always here is that the derailleur got bumped and the guy shifted into his spokes and ruined a wheel. After a rant like that, someone will probably find where Mr. Bikesnob parks and "adjust" his derailleur just a titch.

Me? I love 'em. The more garish the better. I wish I could figure out a way to put them on modern bikes -- big chrome jobs.
My thought was along those lines-- most people do not maintain their own bikes. While it might make some aesthetic sense for an attentive mechanic to remove the spoke protector, I think there's a very large class of people out there who would benefit from a spoke protector if their derailleur went out of adjustment without their knowledge. If that's true, I don't really see the point of looking down one's nose at people who aren't attentive mechanics but are riding their bikes. It's kind of...snobbish.
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Old 05-06-08, 08:15 PM
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Originally Posted by mrmw
This guy, he probably likes his SO not to shave--anywhere. And no jewelry, either. And I bet he's a food fascist too-no gluten, no peanuts and the zenith of NYC urban hip Johnny Come Lately political correctness, no truck with anything or anyone north of Hunts Point.

I mean, look at this Suntour beauty original to a 1984 Miyata 610...
I notice that your beauty is not on a bike! Is it a wall queen?

Actually, I think that the Bike Snob is quite funny, and also self-deprecating. Did you read the part in the linked blog above about the Fixed Gear Pie Plate? Or this one about the "winner" of the non-competitive Five Boro Bike Tour?
https://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2008...five-boro.html

Now, I think that's cycling humor at its apex.
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Old 05-06-08, 08:33 PM
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I save each and every one, but I don't run them. Save for the factory SunTour unit on the '80 Super Course, Can't bring myself to take it off!
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Old 05-06-08, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue Order
would benefit from a spoke protector if their derailleur went out of adjustment without their knowledge.
Just curious how that might happen? The adjustment screw creates a stop for the derailler, keeping it from moving too far to hit the spokes or put the chain behind the freewheel or stick it between the freewheel and the frame. The stiff springs on the screws keep them from moving off the set adjustment. In over 30 years I don't think I've had a derailler go out of adjustment without my knowledge! Granted, if a bike is damaged those alignments will change. But even if you lose all tension on the cable and it shifts to the highest gear, the derailler is still contained by those limit screws.

I imagine the dork discs were added (actually, they had em even in the fifties, but they were pretty small and all metal) because the dork would try to "fix" their bike by twidling with the screws without knowing their purpose or setup. In that case, the disc would prevent damage when it went into the spokes. But it was the first thing removed by any "serious" cyclist since their invention.
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Old 05-06-08, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by QuickDraw
mmm, i like pie.

I like pie too.
and I can't eat it without a plate.
Unless it's late night snacking where I eat it out of the pie tin with a fork.
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Old 05-06-08, 09:03 PM
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so what is the ugliest dork disk? I think I need some negative adornment on that fancy-schmancy carbon record 10...
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Old 05-06-08, 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by stringbreaker
Not on an old Schwinn they are a part of the bling when all cleaned and polished.
Exactly. On Schwinn lightweights they provide a visual balance for the chainguard ring. Take it off and it's like a '57 Chevy without a grille bar.

Weight savings? What a complete load of cobbles; leave your wallet home or skip that second cup of coffee and you've broken even. It's nothing more than weight weenie snobbery.
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Old 05-06-08, 09:24 PM
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Originally Posted by luker
so what is the ugliest dork disk? I think I need some negative adornment on that fancy-schmancy carbon record 10...
I can send you a discolored and cracked plastic one from a mountain bike I'm building for someone.
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Old 05-06-08, 09:31 PM
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is this a byproduct of the sterilization of the ssfg board? i could care less whether others roll a spoke protector. I myself don't.
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Old 05-06-08, 09:43 PM
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have you guys ever seen the Campy pie plate?


that would look sweet on a fixie with an aerospoke
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Old 05-06-08, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by QuickDraw
have you guys ever seen the Campy pie plate?
Dang, that looks expensive!
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Old 05-07-08, 02:39 AM
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Originally Posted by QuickDraw
have you guys ever seen the Campy pie plate?

I was gonna say that I'd only allow one on one of my bikes if it was to be used with a Cambio Corsa or Paris-Roubaix shifter. Coincidentally, I'm after one (a Campy dork disk) for just such an application. If anyone's got a spare, feel free to PM me!!!
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Old 05-07-08, 04:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Charles Wahl
I notice that your beauty is not on a bike! Is it a wall queen?
Nope. This past winter, in the process of Rivendell-izing (off topic--see recent Rivendell thread for context) the '84 Miyata 610 with a new wheelset and 8 speed cassette, it came off permanently.

'After' shot:


Struck by its unusual design, I eBayed it figuring some foreign collector would spend enough to buy me another Brooks or something. Listed it twice at 4.95 and not one bid.

'Before' shot:


So now I'm gonna keep it. Screw 'em. People diss plastic all the time. They don't get it. Plastic is immortal. Plastic is cool. Plastic is timeless...
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Old 05-07-08, 04:58 AM
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Originally Posted by dbakl
They're only functional for someone who keeps their derailler adjusted so it goes into the spokes.
Not necessarily true. I've had my chain go into the spokes more than once as a result of a series of bad bumps, despite the derailleur being adjusted properly. What's wrong with someone wanting to protect their nice wheel? Also, I don't think the old metal ones look bad at all, as long as they're in decent shape.
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Old 05-07-08, 05:42 AM
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Some of them look pretty good.

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Old 05-07-08, 06:13 AM
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I believe this thread warrents some shop such as Rivendell or VeloOrange to begin making really classy, yet not overly large, spoke protectors. The Campagnolo one is a beauty that I imagine most of us would be proud to display on our vintage rides. Other designs merit consideration.

I agree with Charles Wahl, I believe the OP was serving up plently of "tongue in cheek." Great job!
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