This is quite possibly he coolest bike I've ever seen on this forum. It looks like an oil slick. I'd love to have it!

This sounds really fun. You could do the body filler to make a fake crack around part of one of the blades of the fork. Then take 2 hose clamps and a piece of thin scrap steel to the outside and make it look like a hatchet job diy fix. Or you could even cut a some bolts up and glue portions to look as if you've fixed a break with some plumbers strapping tape.

A friend of mine uglified his motorcycle by using contact paper. He bought several rolls: woodgrain, camo, green, blue, etc. Then applied it randomly all over the bike, covering every piece of painted plastic.

It was a tough job when he removed it later....

Warning, when I went to school, pretty much everything was stolen. Ugly bike, beautiful bike, whatever. My Schwinn Continental lasted less than a week. The best plan was to make your bike harder to steal than the other bikes next to it, as there were thousands of them on campus: better lock, cable, whatever.

I have to compliment you guys. This is the most creativity I've seen on this forum.

Having put together a couple of campus bikes for my sons, your best bet is just to get a U lock.

In college, I accidently left a bike locked overnight in an area that didn't have lights. No one stole it, but they did jump up and down on the rear wheel. It held it's basic shape until I tried to pedal. That's when the now-untensioned wheel taco-ed itself.

Moral of the story, always lock up somewhere visable.

Facing the same dilemma when I was going to give my oldest the Centurion. A suggestion less damaging to the frame, no glue to wipe off later - saran wrap the entire frame, spray paint it in your best trash fashion and apply electrical tape in the right areas. This can be undone later. However college campuses are bad news, someone already tried to steal my son's MTB but the jerks settled for the handlebar grips. I had removed the quick release from the seat and substituted it with an allen bolt and locknut. He did a good job locking it up with U-Lock cable. I've seen bike on campus with the front inner tube partially removed. If the buggers can't get your bike they would vandalize it for spite.

Go with the single speed option, but with a 5 speed rear wheel. Nobody will want that. You may not even want to ride it.

I think one just has to accept the reality of campus bikes. My oldest knows that he is welcome to one of many very nice road bikes in the Mancave. However, he and I have readily agreed that his campus bike is expendable and if it is stolen neither of us are going to be upset about it. He road a 1989 Trek 1200 for a year and a half before the cable was cut. Now he is riding a 1987 Trek 520 that cost me all of about $125, again, expendable, but this time with a U lock. Bottomline is that it is transportation. An old MTB with street tires would also be a good choice. Now that he is in his own apartment (thank God, no more roommate issues -- I should have done this from the outset) he might take one of my Ti bikes as his weekend rider while continuing to use the 520 for daily transportation. There was a story I read in the last few months about the facilities staff at U of Texas using dremels to cut U locks off of the many abandoned bikes at the end of the term.

coat the frame with car wax, then paint it with INTERIOR latex paint, either white or yellow, The paint picks up dirt incredibly and will crack and craze in no time. Yellow lloks especially hideous. It all washes off with soap and water. Hang a dirty shop towel from the bars.

I have an uglified Columbia single speed out back that I don't even lock up. around here, they'll walk into your garage in broad daylight.

The bike runs awesome, but it is quite fugly. I painted it flat black to prevent rust, then drizzled various colors of paint all over it, like a Jackson Pollock painting. The tires got drizzled too. People laugh at this bike, which is the reaction I want. I leave it outside year round, just lubricate the hell out of it, coat the chain with grease... The finishing touch is the bungee cords which are rotting away on the basket use the smashed ones you find in the road.

Well, I'd be locking the bike on the rack at my high school and of course riding it home at the end of the day, but again, my school is in a bad area and some of the students are pretty good examples of thugs.

I rode a new '74 PX10 to college and sometimes forgot to lock it.

1- Spatter the top tube and bars with a concoction of red bondo and cooked spaghetti.
2- Allow to dry thoroughly.
3- Mottle with flat green and gloss brown paint.

No one will touch your bike.

Win.

All of these are awesome suggestions, but the best is...

...get another POS bike and use that when you have to lock it up somewhere.

You can't lose this way.

How about doing the frame with spray-on bedliner? ...and you should definitely cover any logos that say "Deore XT" or other quality part names.

Did you read my OP? The bike isn't going to be anything special. I just have to make it look even uglier.

My bad ...peace.

I did read it but I'm on bottle of wine number two...

Again, my bad.

I like this ...original, very.

Expensive?

You can get a can of it for about 10 bucks, and you'd have some left over for other projects.

Cover it in astroturf Cut up an old football and use it as a seat cover--laces up--, put pom poms on the bar ends

So many good ideas in this thread... Oh man this going to be good.

tape with stuff under the tape to make it look like tape over rust. Some PVC tubing held on with pipe clamps, not hose clamps but the u-bolt style pipe clamps to make it look like the frame broke and you bandaided it back together. Stick on a couple of actual bandaids to add to the effect. Throw on a rear rack but make it look like it is about to fall off somehow, loose bolts with the nuts help on with locktite but spaced out a bit. Add some rattle pieces and some old loose metal fenders to make it sound like a horse and carriage with bells on clanging its way down the road. A broken headlight dangling with bailing wire can help too.

Schwinn Varsity. Get it cheap, if it gets ganked get another one cheap.

I came here to say Peugeot.

Its easy to find a good peugeot, either a strong U08 or a lighter vitus 181 is great. plus they all look 'meh' and the same so leaving mine out for an hour while I shops never been a problem for me.

Schwinn varsity. Buy it for $40 and every time it gets stolen just look on CL and go buy it back.