So....

Jesus is coming, and he's gonna:
- assess every human being's worthiness for "reward"
- reward those who are deemed worthy
- leave everyone else with nothing
- do all of this in one day

Once a Year, Santa Claus:
- assesses every human being's worthiness for "reward"
- rewards those who are deemed worthy
- leaves everyone else with nothing
- does all of this in one day

Coincidence?

Thta's why we thorw snowballs at him (santa) in Philly. We would probably throw them at Jesus too.:lol:

But what about the Zombies?

They can ride the leftover Huffys.

Wait...does this mean heaven is going to be filled with naked people?

I'm getting my hair cut, watching Capricorn One, and planning a 100-miler on Saturday.

I told my wife I needed a post-rapture ride. She said "dream on."

They remade Rocky Horror too.

My wife and I used to sing that song but change the words to mmmmmmm-plop when we were in the bathroom.

Thought you had the improbability drive sorted out?

Now that is scary.

Naked is all good. Specially if everyone is naked.

What am I even giving a hoot about? It's been established that I was not selected. Ed McMahon has been delivering the 'no's personally

I'm not sure where I stand...as a chosen person, I'm fairly sure I'm on solid ground :)

Reminded me of this cartoon.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110413.gif

:thumb: :lol:

I saw Boxing Helena. That was downright stupid. Monty Python did it so much better.

Best Thread EVER

With only hours to go, it just may be. To be honest, I'm a little worried. Last Sunday, I was a little light and didn't add to the collection plate. I guess you heathens are stuck with me.

"TOTAL COMMITMENT." Quote, J D Ripper.

For the past 3 days I looked at the title of this thread and had no idea what Zaph was talking about. Now I'm worried, finally reading it.

2.5 hrs to midnight, Mountain Time.

Should call my relatives in Europe. Rapture already under way there.

Just got the word. I have to build bikes all day Saturday so I won't be doing the ride.

If I'm raptured you can have my Masi. It has a flat tubular that I haven't gotten around to fixing, though.

That may be a sign that you will have to be left behind. Sorry, "you cant'eth ride'eth to Heaven on a flat tubular." (As it was written). Colnago 3:16

I guess it is supposed to be a "rolling rapture" so it'll hit your locality at around 6pm local time depending on where you live in your time zone (apparently God doesn't do time zones and uses dead-reckoning "high-noon" time but still has the grace to start at Greenwich and work his way around. I figure I'll keep an eye on the news at around noon and by the time it gets to +6 GMT here in Chicago I can have time to convert to all chirstiany goodness. Take me that long to scrub off all the bloody pentacles and candle wax from the floor...

I'm actually going to park my happy self outside the home of my long-time enemies' house (long, loong story) and shout blasphemies from half 'til Rapture to half past Rapture. I don't expect to make any friends doing this, and probably won't make my point. It might make me feel smug for an hour, though, and that's not to be sneezed at.

Has it happened?? Please give a few updates; here in Europe we are nothing but devil-worshipping, gay-loving, evolution-believeing communists, so we are bound not to notice.

(Some even ride japanese bikes in public, surely condemning everybody. Like in Sodom an Gomorra.)

We'll keep you around for good measure. :) After all, it's an "offering" not a tax. :p

Still practicing my sermon for tomorrow. :innocent: