As the ***** cruiser appears to have some street cred, I can only imagine how proud you must be to now own this totally awesome machine.

I envision crowds of admiring hipsters forming a circle around the ***** cruiser admiring every little detail including the left tilting saddle, to the *gravity defying* right side lower bum cheek aerator/perspiration soaker upper, to the triple cat sticker, just to name a few things. As the ***** cruiser gorges itself on a diet of hipsters and road cyclists only those who familiar with its wiles will escape its claws and find themselves unscathed from the encounter.

I left the ***** cruiser overnight unlocked in the same room as a Motobecane Mirage and some highlighters. One thing led to another and because they loved each other very much and were in a long-term committed relationship...well, you can see for yourself.

Got into my secret glitter stash.

DD, your cat is adorable.

Narhay, if it were my bike, I'd go with black and do something like the Pashley Guv'nor.

Tell the truth, you tried to tuck it into the dancer's G-string

On as serious a note as I want to bring into this thread, I like the bright purple glitter look the best. Nothing screams Craptastic Ghetto-Fab like sparkles and purple.

Some layers of dry, crusty paint were peeled back to reveal quite a nice surprise. I knew that the obvious quality of this two wheeled Rolls Royce-esque chariot was no mistake. It is indeed a DeRosa.

Rembrandt's rendition of previous labels:



Actual labels:



As much as it would break my heart to see her with someone else, I am willing to take $5000 in as is condition.

I am SO glad I didn't have anything to drink in my mouth when I saw this post! If I did, my monitor would have been wearing it.

Narhay, you have made my day. KonAaron Snake, wherefore art thou?

This is pretty funny - I call my wife's bike the xxxxy-mobile because she loves hello kitty, and it's pink. It as more hello kitty bling en route for the holidays.

Aaron, I totally forgot about the hello kitty water bottles on her bike. Hilarious stuff, that!

Bigger hammer:



Or:

We got a cotter press down at the bike coop. And a couple of ******* Cruiser wannabes just waiting for application of cat stickers.

I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE BRINGING MY EX ***** CRUISER BACK TO LIFE! If you change the name though, I think you should call it Frankenbike.

IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED IN CUSTOM HIGH GRADE CAT STICKER APPLICATIONS I'M YOUR GAL! I ALSO HAVE PLANET STICKETS! ~*~*~

Planet stickets ain't no fun. We need poody stickets.

Wahoo! The creator of the *****cruiser is in da house! Welcome to BF.

MADDISON666, as we have two cats that allow us stay in their house, wifey and I will probably be in touch about some nice cat stickers.

BTW, I think the ***** cruiser is da bomb and have a little difficulty understanding why you'd let it go. Most all the guys and gals on this forum are polygamous. C'mon, give it a try. It's fun!

I had 2 bikes, and it was taking up too much space in my apartment so I HAD TO LET HER GO. It was really hard. After he picked her up I cried and wiped my tears with the $20 bill I got in exchange for her. Now all I have is my ultra trendy hipster bike (whos name is ET!)

Ha ha...I was going to ask how hot the original owner was, but now that she's on this thread I won't.

To be honest, though, it looks like a fun bike to revamp.

The ***** Cruiser riders are an elite group of individuals. Only the most appealing may ride such a elegant machine.

To counter the sometimes dull and overused "smooth" ride of other pedestrian machines, the Cruiser has incorporated the tessellated rim...providing you with a simulated offroad experience on even the smoothest glass cement.

Yeah, throw a little ***** my way, willya?

Welcome to C&V. Rawk Awn.

I am now taking wagers, paying out at 1 to 1 on the brand origin of the ***** cruiser. Send me your money in a plain white envelope and I will be sure to keep it in a mostly warm and dry place until her provenance is revealed.

I'm going to guess Fuji tourer ~1980. I will burn my dog sticker book if you let us know the serial number.

EDIT: Sorry, that should be Fuji *****er.

EDIT: This is the best thread in a while.

This is the funniest.

Once restored, phone Linda Lovelace; she'd love to see the improvements!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since the *****cruiser prowled in Canada, as far as we know, I'm going to play the odds and say Supercycle.