I picked this up today, half because I can salvage it and the other half because it cracked me up and made my evening.

https://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/va...458312856.html

Actually, I bought it mostly for the cat stickers.

Thus begins the resurrection of The ***** Cruiser 2.0.

She had 9 lives, I think she has used about 8 of them at this point.

You might have your De Rosas, your Colnagos and your Italians decked out in campy, but you do not have this. Feel free to post your jealousy and or befriend me in hopes of being allowed a few fleeting moments to ride her down the street and back.

**Jealous**

You can turn that into a thing of beauty. I can't wait to see it.

I can guarantee you that this is a true racing bike. With its lightweight rear steel wheel, excellent brake and Vancouver's dry clime, it will fly past anyone on their overpriced Cervelo sitting at a red light. The lighting quick handlebar steering mechanism allows you to dodge the oncoming traffic but never fear, they will see the sparkly cat stickers and know what wondrous luck has befallen them: A rare glimpse of the legendary ***** Cruiser. They may attempt to tell their friends and family, but as often as not, no one will ever believe them.

Cat stickers? You better believe I'm jealous; those were probably worth $40 right there

At least you know it'll safely deliver you home from the bar at least once (just be more faithful to her than the last guy)!

DD

Quite glad you saw this before me! Or else it would be sitting in my spare room with absolutely zero plans for it, but acquired just because....

I didn't mention the stickers much for fear of bringing her discerning eye upon their until now hidden value. Once I have safely extracted the stickers from the expertly handcrafted rattle can job and placed them in my sticker book, I am not sure what to do with the vessel that bore the feline folios.

I thought of fashioning a custom woven tweed coat, a toque worn in all seasons and temperatures and an unkept yet carefully kept beard to keep her warm in the cooler months, but then I realized that her future owner will already bear these items.

Decisions, decisions.

The previous owner was a female, so my future advertising campaign will revolve around the subject of "female ridden" to eschew the idea that it might have been abused in a former life.

C.Itoh?

"It needs work but I believe someone can make it beautiful/rideable/not a death machine."

Says it all right there.

Wow, you definately need to do a build thread on the resurrection of this one.

That's pretty badass.

Funny CL ad, and cool bike. It'll build up nice.

I will do what I can to ensure she purrs once again. My first order of business, apart from the careful preservation of said stickers, is to strip and clean.

I believe I have found the previous fresco painter who graciously donated her time to expertly paint the ***** Cruiser "Somber Gestapo SS Grey".



To continue with the tacky theme, I have a roll of $0.99 shipped yellow and black splash bar tape. Because it looks like a tiger. However, I am going to need to source a new stem/headset and drop bars. Because cats are fast and drop bars make bikes go faster.

+1

It probably doesn't give a ****, either

DD

that'd make a *****iin headbadge for it

Speechless. Just leave it flat and ride it on the rim. Therefore it'll never go flat and leave you stranded.

I'll try to live with the disappointment.

Bikingshearer, shepherd and barber of the Italian steeds. I was once in your position long, long ago (yesterday). I, too, did not understand how it would feel to share the ***** Cruiser's passion for mostly smooth wheel revolutions. The feeling of wind in your hair made thoughts of grasping the braking lever almost secondary and this heathen horned mechanism would have probably been omitted had it not been secured by 7 pounds of permanently cured spray paint.

Concern yourselves not, I shall go forth to the holding pen of the Cruiser and bring her hither this eve. For soon, you shall all behold, in 10.2mp quality compressed to 1024x xxx quality, the true nature of this feral beast.

Also, cat stickers.

Faux Scottish Fold by Sallad Rialb, on Flickr

ummmm, photogravity, wrong thread. Everyone knows that cats belong on Aaron's De Rosa thread. pfffft.

- cute cat, btw

Her profile beauty shot. Notice she is shorn in flats and you can imagine the relaxed "walking beside her pushing her home" riding position.



A teaser of some of the high quality cat stickers. This is a Tabby and her name is Melissa.



The saddle is tilted to the left to compensate for Vancouver's frequent leeward gusts. All aspects of the ***** Cruiser are carefully considered for maximum efficiency.



One of the saddle's features. A right side lower bum cheek aerator/perspiration soaker upper. Only ***** Cruiser nails the little details like this.



The stem. Or rather, the coiled neck of a predator, waiting to bedazzle you with cat stickers as it prepares to strike.



The handlebar garment is remarkably similar to electrical tape but far superior. This adhesive strip has enveloped the entire steering mechanism, allowing for maximum grip in any riding position.



The dark, burnt remains of the front brake, melted away as the ***** Cruiser reached cruising velocity.



A concrete/urban jungle camouflage paint pattern belies the true intentions of this predator. Gorging itself on a diet of hipsters and road cyclists ill-fated enough to cross its path, it is an ambush predator, ready to pounce on any twill or spandex laden victim lulled into a false sense of security.


The power house. This is where all those rapid muscle twitches hit the pavement. This mechanism was once fed so quickly that the back rim has bent and buckled under it's awe-striking centrifugal forces.



The true value of these stickers is only apparent when you are able to see that yes, that is a triple cat sticker. Only the most seasoned of cat sticker afficionados have even heard of the elusive triple, but here it is. Every inch you are able to glimpse, another aspect of its true potential comes rearing to life.

actually id like to see it built up aswell.
i have a thread where it follows my rebuild of a similar looking lowend steel frame ofcourse minus the epicness of cat stickers

Best thread in a long time

And don't just take my word for it:



I've finally realized the truth: I need some cat stickers to elevate my rigs above the lame category.

DD

The rotating crank mechanism, aka "the crank arms" have these vile pins (probably designed by a canine) holding them onto the bottom bracket. If any of the ***** Cruiser admirers know how to remove these (other than a hammer which only got them so far) there may be a cat sticker in it for you (I am lying, there will be no stickers forthcoming).

You have a sticker book? Wow. [kneeling in worship]We're not worthy!!![/kneeling in worship]

I have a big set of channellocks if you want to scar the headset adjusting nut. Can use for the bottom bracket too.

Love the high quality eroded brake pads combined with the nicely off center caliper Just right for those 'maybe I'll stop... one day' moments. Perhaps the cat stickers will help it land rubber first?