rollerdavem

In order to lose the weight and keep it off, more is needed than diet, exercise, being pestered by Richard Simmons, or other drastic means...

You gotta get right with you, on the inside of your head.

I got big because I had a feeling of entitlement, and a little problem with greed I'm embarrassed to admit I had. I was sorta OK when I walked, tho I was going downhill slowly... but when that nerve in my back got messed up and I hit bottom mostly numb and given up on life, I still ate like I used to just without the level of activity I had previously had but despised.

My problem isn't genetic, it was emotional and it was all about a lack of hope and an insane overcompensation for a feeling of deprivation in other areas of my life.

What put me into the wheelchair was not caused solely by the increasing weight I was pretending didn't exist, but it was certainly exacerbated by the looming bulk within my jogging pant and sweat shirt.

It's taken a lot of introspection to get where I am now and where I am going.

One major source of inspiration and hope is my Becky. She has lost a rather large amount of weight herself, though I won't say how much until she wakes up and tells me I can divulge.

There's no numbers in pissing off Becky, she's 6'5"!

Anyway, she kicked my ass into gear and bounces my reality check as needed. She is my inspiration and support system, Life with her is worth the hope I have.

I have confidence that my inner issues have been dealt with, and that my support system is up to the challenge of keeping me accountable for myself, and burn with determination no take back what is mine.

I WANT WHAT IS MINE!

What is that?

I'll tell you: buying clothes at any store I please, with belt loops, shirts that tuck in, or kewl tee shirts that say stuff and don't come in 'circus tent' sizes. Going where I want, when I want, and not caring where there are stairs, curbs, or not many very solid places to sit. moving and not having to be so very aware of every movement, not having to be quite so strategic to avoid injury.

Holding the door for a pretty girl instead of having her hold it for me and seeing pity or revulsion in her eyes.

Years more of life than I could reasonably expect at this size, and being able to do for myself instead of feeling useless.

These things are mine, and nothing in Heaven above or Earth below is going to stand in my way.

What factors lead any of you to the point where you realized that unless you got 'dead serious', you'd be just 'dead?'

What inspires YOU and gives YOU hope?

As an offering, here is a pic of me as I am this very moment after my forty pounds of weight loss (449 lbs at present), but before the whirlwind that is to come.

ban guzzi

Honestly, my parents and one of the guys at I work with. Quad-Bypass for pops and various cardio issues coming up for my mom. They both quit smoking but still will sit down and eat a carton of ice cream, then tell me I'm nuts for riding all year. The fella at work? The only person I've EVER seen eat and choke on food at the same time! WTF?! He never stopped shoveling while caughing reading the paper. He and I were about the same size last August (07). No too sure where I'm at now weight wise but I fit clothes I haven't been in for 7 years and have passed people who didn't recognize me while out and about.

And shopping for clothes and getting essential whatever I wanted? I about cried/laughed the first time I walked into a big and tall and realised they didn't have anything in my size anymore (pants wise...I'm almost 2.5ft wide at shoulders).

A scattered responce but there you go...night shift work,eh?


Best of luck to you! Its VERY much worth it!

Trucker_JDub

Why am I big? There are two answers to this

1. I was raised by parents that where overweight that let me eat what I wanted (They have things in line now and are thin). I had stress in my life. My genetics say I am suppose to be big. My job doesn't allow me time to stay in shape. I'll cut this short because the list goes on and on and on.

2. Bottom line is this: I was extremely active; skin and bones until I hit puberty then I was put on Ritalin for hyperactivity when it was in its experimental stage. I was on 3 times the maximum dosage by todays standards and it brought my metabolism to a halt, but my hunger stayed. I put on weight and never recovered. I know if I could start eating like someone thats healthy I could get there. It will be harder for me considering what the drugs did to my body but it can be done. Now its almost 20 years later and the main reason is this; I like foods that are bad for me and in amounts that are also bad. I have little willpower. I push hard and then after a couple days I seem to think I have earned a treat (read: junk food, fast food, greasy food). Part of me likes being the big, loud, funny guy. And what the heck splash a little 'poor poor me' depression every now and then.

This forum has become my main read and reading it makes me want to ride. I have no cold weather gear but I went out riding as soon as the rain stopped today at 39F. I was in shorts and a T-shirt just happy to be outside (only put down 15 miles but hey.. ..i was riding). Its been raining for 6 days straight. My 2 bikes 'sleep' in my bedroom. They are the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I'm working on getting a grip on things. For the first time in 5 years I actually am seeing the scale numbers get smaller (355lbs on 1-1-08, 335lbs yesterday).


There you go.. ..thats why I'm big.

Mazama

YOU GO!

As for being big? Well, genetics plays a big part and so does beer, fried chicken and mixed nuts.

wayne pattee

Sounds like me. I've been, and will be, dealing with this over weight thing my whole life. Kinda like smoking. You're not a non smoker, you're an ex-smoker.
Good luck and welcome

crtreedude 

For as long as I can remember, I can gain weight overnight it seems. It isn't that I like rich food, I just hate to focus on food. When I work too long, I gain weight since I try to compensate for lack of sleep with more food. It does work to a point.

Bike riding is great because it wakes me up as well as curbs my appetite. I have much more problem eating too much when I am not riding.

hoytbasses

it's interesting the 'reasons' we are big........In my case.. I eat too much! Then I play those mind games: " I just rode 35 miles so I can have a second burger"... "I just got home from commuting to work and it was a stressful day , so I can eat a cup of peanuts......" blah blah blah blah........

I know my triggers, I know my body (after 55 years) and I know the stupid excuses I give myself for continuing to eat too much... yet, at least in the winter, I let myself get flabby again.

In my wife's world, food was a control issue, in my world, food is a celebration. either way, I'm fat, she's fat....(or was... she confronted her demons and is 100 lbs lighter) ...

nothing makes me feel better than riding. and nothing makes me feel worse than feeling bloated and gassy from eating the wrong stuff...... so guess what I'm going to do ?(as soon as this *(&^&^ head cold lets go of me)

I remember the turning point for me: I was in size 44 pants and debating whether I should go up to 46 or do something about the 44's..... I hadn't been riding for a couple of years and so I started again.

for about 15 minutes this summer, I fit into some 38's, which for me is the impossible dream....... I haven't been in 38's since I was in boot camp in 1974 (yup, I'm old) ..... I'm back up to a 42 now... but by mid summer will be in a comfortable 40. My big challenge will be next winter and NOT creeping back into the 42's again.

the good news is that since I've been riding again, I've never gotten up to those pre-riding sizes.. and never will!

kfh

great thread!

SHOwned

i'm big because of a poor mix of genetics from my parents and also spending a few years in my teens overeating, skipping healthy food, and being extremely lax in exercising. I'm 235lbs and 5'10" so i'm not huge by any stretch, but i feel big, and i'm unhappy.

genetics: my dad is 6'1" and about 270lbs. my uncle is 6'3" and 300+. everyone on my dads side of the family is tall, overweight and has a very wide skeletal frame. my mother's side is short(no one over 5'9") and everyone has a small frame. mix the two together, and i got the lack of height and a wide skeletal frame w/ a predisposition to being overweight.

diet: once i became a teenager, i became very lazy and never really cared for eating healthy. I had picky tastes and never wanted to eat well... I wasn't very active. I would play ice hockey occasionally, but i was in a band, and that wasn't exactly a huge physical activity. I would play videogames instead of going outside or whatever. I would eat when i wasn't actually hungry and not choose healthy things. Until midway through highschool, i was about 180lbs.Then i got significantly taller. At the end of highschool i was over 200, still not too bad. By the end of freshman year i was about 220. Shortly after i settled around 240-250. it has been that weight since then, so about 3 years almost. I started hitting a gym(every single day), changing my diet, riding my bicycle, and basically working myself to exhaustion on several occasions and i had lost around 15lbs in a month once my body got used to being worked so hard.

Well, my progress has been cut short. I broke my collar bone last sunday and i will not be able to ride for about 6 weeks. I can't go to the gym and lift anything but legs and i can only really spin on a stationary bike. however my collarbone hurts too much right now to even consider that. I'm going to gain back a lot of the weight i just lost due to cutting out all of my exercise program. I need to watch what i eat now more then ever, which is tough because i'm depressed about losing all my progress. My body can gain weight very quickly, and it is becoming more and more tough to lose it as my body fat % decreases to healthy levels. I actually made it to a point of being in the "fit" category for bf% at my weight of 235. The test said i could be 205lbs and 5% body fat if i were to gain no more muscle and lose the fat(ridiculous(in a good way), i know). muscle weighs more then fat, but i'm going to lose a lot of my strength and its going to be nearly impossible to get the motivation to return to the gym once this injury is healed.

and oh yeah, i used to wear a 38 in pants, but i probably dropped to a 36 by now, but i never went clothes shopping since my clothes never fit me poorly when i dropped the weight

flip18436572

Alright, what is my trigger, what is my problem, why am I fat?

I like food and I like to try different types of food, and then I EAT IT ALL!!!!! I worked in I.T. for 15 years and was the only one in my facility, so I worked a lot of hours and some really wierd hours. I used to drink a LOT of regular Mt. Dew. Do you know how many calories are in a MD. Too dang many. One of my biggest problems was pop (soda for you southerners). When you have been at work for 40+ hours straight, you do what you can to stay awake to finish the project or fix the problem, so 100 other people in the office can do their job, so the 400 employees on the floor can do theirs. So, you get fake hunger feelings, and you eat snack food, which gives you a lot of sugar highs, and then quick lows, so you drink more MD, and then eat more sugar.

The above is just my work problem, then I have two very active daughters, so I would go with my wife and sit in bleachers and watch our daughters play in the sporting event at the time, or the speech, or the play, or the musical, or the honor choir, or etc....... And guess what, you eat food watching them, and you don't move, so it all just adds up.

I was at a size 48 waist pants (too tight) and currently I am wearing a size 32 waist jeans and I still have at least 40 pounds of "fat" to get off of my body. I haven't been in 32 jeans in 26 years that I can remember and even though I can't dunk a basketball anymore, I feel much better about my life in general. I now do the things with my daughters and enjoy it. I play basketball and don't feel like the "stay-puff marshmellow man" when I move and jump. I am running at least 3 miles a day and even though I don't look like a runner, I am improving every single day. I play tennis, basketball, racquetball, swim, bike, run, lift weights, and I do it for fun and not because I have to, because I enjoy it again.

I spent more money on bicycles for my wife and myself, than I thought I would spend in a lifetime, and I still want to buy more bicycles, but the addiction can be stopped (I hope), just like my addiction to large quantities of food. I drink diet Mt. Dew, but I only have one a day, and the rest is either O.J. or water, with once in a while I will drink a Gatorade on high exercise days when I do something for 3-6 hours.

Can we get smaller and healthier, yes, but we can't make others. I have a friend that will not change, until his mind is ready and currently he is not ready. I hope we can get him to change, before he has severe health problems.

Be an inspiration for others, and try to get them active, but don't push them, as they may just push away. I have been there, and now I am trying to help others.

Good luck to everyone, and when you struggle, post up here, and you will get a lot of support.

Spake Blencer

looking back through my life (which isn't a hugely long time since i'm only 23) i've been concious about my weight since sixth grade. For a three years or so I've known that you can't live your life on a diet, sure you can spend your life on a diet, but you can't live it. I've known that to be healthy is not just to see a low number on the scale, it's to have a healthy lifestyle. I know five steps forward one step back is better than five steps back. etc. etc. but for a while now i've known that if i'm happy, health will come. (and i know that actual happiness is so much more than hedonistic, sedentary, happiness) But everytime i feel ive come to the root of the problem, i realize there's another layer. So now, i know i need to be happy with my life, and I can't use the "well if i were healthier, i would be happy" excuse (because where does that get me?) Life is going to keep on going whether I'm fit or not, whether I'm happy with my life, or not. One of the most interesting people i've met in the last two years told me that when she wakes up in the morning, she knows that she can either have a good day or a bad day, you can be happy or disappointed, and it all depends on you making one decision when you wake up, and the rest just seems to follow. So every morning, Cozzy wakes up and says "this is going to be a good day." And you know what? day in and day out, she has more fun than anyone I know.

Of all the times in my life (five) when I felt healthy and (in retrospect) happy with what i saw in the mirror, i've come to the conclusion that those were not periods of my life marked by successful dieting or ardent adherrence to a routine and indominable will. In fact, these times really had nothing to do with me trying to lose weight, they just sort of happened.

Now I'm 6ft, 230lbs and I'm so grateful that I "carry it well." This time last year I was 190, and fit, and could hold my own in the collegeite races... what happened? Well, it was my last semester of school and and my girlfriend who I had been living with for a year, the woman I love got her dream internship 2,000 miles away. (these are required to complete our degree and she was a semester ahead of me) In my mind i figured it would be a tough few months but then we could get on with our lives together. anyhow, after six weeks the internship turned into a job and she didn't need me in her life anymore. I have no hard feelings about this, she's very happy there and that's what I want for her.

But that isn't what this thread is about...

When my support system is there, and I keep busy and can occupy my mind with more than how healthy I am, the healthy lifestyle just happens with very little effort. in the meantime, I like to keep motivated by keeping busy, and being around people and talking with real people about this stuff on forums like this

and for the men out there, I haven't found a more useful and broad resource of online information than the men's health "Belly-Off Club" website. There's a lot of sterotypical guy things on there, plus they sort of assume everyone is heterosexual which is frusterating. but hey, the info is great. here's an article that caught my attention when i first got on the site..

https://www.menshealth.com/cda/articl...00cfe793cd____

sorry for how divergent this post is, but that's just how my mind works.

I've got to go becaue i just learned that the car I grew up driving, not just the model, but my actual car (1989 saab 900) is being used for extraction practice by the local Fire Department... and i've got to go say goodbye...

Peace, Love, and Wheels

Tom Stormcrowe

My gain was a result of a nasty combination. Started with a metabolic disease, combined with emotional eating and a sedentary lifestyle and it nearly killed me.

Mr. Beanz

Hey RollerDaveM,.GO MAN GO! GO MAN GO! And good on Becky!

Scummer

I'm not really big as I'm just barely scratching the clydesdale scale at 208lbs at 6'.
But before I moved to the US where I started an easy lifestyle and worked at the desk 40 hours a week, sometimes 60-70 hours a week and had crappy lunch food in all those fast food dinners, I was 170lbs.
Back in the homeland I rode my bike every week and easily averaged 100-200 miles a week. I was lean, muscular (I miss my 6 pack) and nicely built. I want that back and have started to cycle in a serious manner middle of last year again. Put down a few centuries and rode my bike almost daily after I got home from work. I dropped nicely to 195lbs. Winter came around and now I'm back at 208 where I started last year. Gaaahhh.

So this year I added some new exercise, I bought some rollers which I have started to use since January almost daily and I'll be doing the Tuesday night races every week to get completely wasted and hopefully expense enough energy during the race so my weight will drop without having to watch my food intake too much as I'm still going out for lunch. Working in the IT field sux for the wasteline big time.

I try to eat mostly fruit and veggies but it ain't easy to keep it that way.

This forum is great because we are all moving in the same direction and pull on the same rope, to lose weight and attain a healthy lifestyle. That's what makes this subforum so great!

Thomas

sumguy

Never got to the really big stage, peaked at 39yo 224lb, 5'10". 140lb with steel toe rubber boots and uniform when I was 19. My problem is being sedentary and lonely so I eat when bored.
My desire to get healthy is sparked by potential heart problems and poor self-esteem. I was "forced" into exercising when my car died - decided nothing was so far away I couldn't bike there instead. My only exercise is commuting/utility cycling and turning work or other daily activities (stairs vs escalator or elevator, etc) into exercise. Consistently hitting lower 190s now, and expect to break 190 this week.
Diet is better but till have bad days.

Pinyon

There are lots of little reasons that I gain weight so easily, why I once weighed about 375 lbs and have gained 30 back since last September (kept it all off for 2.5 years), but the main one is that I still sometimes use food to calm or dampen my emotions. I'm something of an OCD and control freak type, and wanting things to be "perfect" or predictable also includes my own emotional reactions to things. I did not use food only during emotionally trying or stressful times, but to...maintain an even keel. I used to use that slight emotional detachment that food gave me, to "help" me make decisions better, work more hours or be more productive at work, etc. That is what I told myself, anyway.

I've found that the only way that I can lose and/or maintain my weight is to, from my perspective, let my in-the-moment emotions run wild. That is not to say that I act on every childish notion/fear/giddiness/whatever that pops into my head or gut. I'm just sort of letting it wash over me, recognizing it, and facing it. I have found that facing things actually takes less mental and emotional energy than being...I guess I would have described myself as sort of stoic. It was very difficult at first. I did not know that regular, everyday occurrences would impact how I emotionally felt so much. At first, it seemed like I was schitzophrenic, or something, but I got used to it.

It is a hard road, but worth it. I have also noticed that the "fight" never ends. There will never be a time where I will be able to eat "normally". That is not to say that I have to stay on a "diet" for the rest of my life either, but I DEFINITELY have to be concious about everything that I eat, and ESPECIALLY make sure that I eat what my body is craving. I was pretty immune to listening to what my body wanted, and it took practice, but over time I figured out that one bright-colored piece of fruit satiated my hunger as well as a sugary and fatty food that had three times the number of calories used to. Sometimes a single-layer, palm-full of salty peanuts will make me feel as good as a few slices of extra meaty and greasy pizza used to. One good way to practice, is to see what "looks great" at the grocerie store, that is also healthy for you. I tend to only buy things to eat that "talk to me". It really helps.

I've also noticed that I tend to need about fewer calories than those charts and books say that I do. I can't maintain my weight eating any more than around 1900-2100 calories per day during the winter (books/charts say about 2300-2500), when I'm only doing about 6-8 hours of aerobic activity a week; and about 2300-2500 calories per day during the most active part of the cycling season, when I'm putting in about 12-14 hours of riding per week (charts/books say about 2800-3100). I just can't eat like a "normal" American, and not be HUGE. Not just overweight, like many people are, but HUGE. That is how it is.

Good luck, dude! I'm pulling for you!

themetalman

To many Argentine(asados)..barbeques and i guess just love to eat. I also reward my self with food when i do long rides.And of course the famos line family geans.

Spartan112

For me it was being a latch key kid and preparing my own meals from the age of 12 or so...green stuff? what's that?

That coupled with the fact that I work in an industry that lends itself to long hours and bad eating/drinking habits and I tipped the scales at 288# this time last year (6ft.) Today I am 196# and holding. The last 10-15#'s is being a bugger, but riding weather hasn't hit just yet. Hopefully time on the road will help.

Last year, 42" W. This year? 34" or 33"
depending on the maker.

bdinger

Mine was all bad choices, simply. Greed and a lust for food, combined with laziness to do anything about it. I get a little misty when I think of all the money and times my parents tried to get me into fad diets.. only to fail. That's really the main reason behind mine, just simple greed. Add in a mix of depression, maybe some slight chemical dependence and a nasty smoking habit - you have death before 40!

What drives me now? The two kids in the other room, my wife and the baby that's (in her words STILL lol!) inside her. That's only part of it. The other part is this internal sadist that I seem to have picked up, who refuses to take excuses, and pushes me past my limits, every single day. Ready to collapse after a blast up a monster hill? Inner sadist pokes me for more. Hungry and ready to collapse, eyeing the cupcakes someone brought in to work? Inner sadist pokes me and sends me for my tuna rice salsa lunch.

It's all about you, and finding your drive. Oh, and going to a normal store and buying normal clothes?

That's, well, for guys like you and me - it defies description.

keithm0

I wish I could point at one thing beyond my control and say "There! That's it! That's the reason I'm overweight! It's XYZ's fault!".

But there is no reason. I'm in control of everything I eat, and I'm mostly in control of how much I exercise (modulo injury and illness).

That said, one thing that has been difficult for me to overcome is the memories of childhood pressure to "clean your plate". My parent's were not fanatical about it, but there was always a "take what you want, but eat what you take" attitude. This is a problem at restaurants. (It's also a problem that I eat in restaurants WAY too often, something I've recently started to change.)

Here's an interesting thought experiment. There are enough simplifying assumptions here to make the actual results somewhat meaningless, but I still find it thought provoking.

When I graduated high school 26 years ago, I was 6'2" and weighed 185 pounds. I'm still 6'2", but now weigh 245 pounds, so I've gained 60 pounds in 26 years. That's about 2.3 pounds gained per year. Allegedly, a pound of fat is equivalent to 3500 calories, so 2.3 pounds gained per year = 8050 excess calories per year, or about 155 excess calories per week.

So, an extra 155 calories (1.5 bananas, or a small glass of Coke) per week above your calorie expenditure is enough to eventually lead to an overweight condition. In theory.

Of course, as an old friend of mine says: "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is no relationship between theory and practice."

In my case, the weight gain was not linear (there were many peaks and valleys in those 26 years), and I have much more muscle mass in my legs now (so not all of the 60 pounds gained was fat). But I still find the results interesting. It shows how slow and insidious weight gain can be. Something that, unless you measure and track regularly, you might not notice until some day your pants don't fit and and you're forced to "upsize" the next time you go shopping.

Bionicycle

First of all Rollerdavem congratulations on loosing #40 keep it up man…. I know you think you have a long way to go, but loosing 40 pounds is great. If you ever get to feeling like 40 pounds is just a drop in the ocean, do this… find something that weighs 40 pounds (like two 20 pound bags of cat food) and carry it around for about ten minutes… you will be amazed at how good it feels to put that 40 pounds back down again…


As for why am I big… It’s simple really… I take in more Calories than my body can use in a days activities, ergo my body saves up the extra energy as fat, for the time when I may need it, but since we live in a time when food can be had most readily, I never need the extra fat, and still keep taking in too many Calories… If you gain just a consistent ˝ pound per month, that is 6 pounds per year… doesn’t seem like much, but stretch that out for 10 years and you have 60 pounds. 60 pounds is about what I have gained overall in the last 10 years…

I eat for entertainment and taste… Until I can get away from that, I will struggle… I eat way too large size meals… Until I can break the Gas Tank Must Be Full mentality, and convince myself that, each meal I eat is not going to be my last meal for several days… I’m going to struggle… Most people that overeat are not even aware of how many calories they take in a day, until they start counting them, plus they take in the wrong types of food to get those calories. And most can’t imagine how little of those calories they use up in a days worth of normal activities, and it can vary greatly from person to person.

At my largest, at about twenty years old, I was in the #350 range, in three years I made it down to #210 for about ten years(give or take a few), now I have slid back into old habits and I have backslid up to about #270 over the last ten years. Now it’s up to me, to slowly but surly change my habits and go the other way, it won’t be easy now that I’m older 47, but if I wish to get even older than this… I best get started. I just wish I would have had the brains not to backslide in the first place… but it’s too late for that… I can’t punish myself for what has already been done… I must change what I do in the now.

Best of luck to you Rollerdavem…and to us one and all.

stevel610 

Emotional Eating and >40 y.o. Keep up the good work.

Steve

v1k1ng1001

I love to eat. I was raised in a family that loves to eat a lot of food. When I was in HS, I played basketball every day and had a difficult time gaining the weight needed to play down low even though I gorged myself every night. Nowadays I'm an academic and it is common for me to spend 8-10 hours either reading or at the computer. Walking to class and lecturing is about the most exercise I get. Although I enjoy eating a lot of food, it doesn't really work with my lifestyle. My father hasn't put on a lot of weight, but he's become a diabetic and the disease has taken its toll on him.

I've never been more than 255 lbs. In general, I tend to fluctuate between 210 and 230. There are times of the year that I am OK with eating big, not doing much and gaining weight. Correspondingly, there are other times when I am focused on dropping weight.

In general I set a ceiling weight for myself. If I hit that weight I radically reduce the bad stuff in my diet, plan my meals and make extra time for the bike. It works for me.

heckler

I don't feel all that big. I am 6' and about 230 (btw why does this seem to be about half the peoples size here?) i would call normal for me about 210 to 215 and would love to lose the extra 15 lbs (esp around the middle though it never seems to leave there) to get me there, but i am not too worried about it.

if i ever made it below 200 i would think i would look like a starving refugee. I believe I have a fair amount of muscle and to dip below 200 would require i lose some which seems stupid to me and not particularly healthy.

JosephPaul86

Wow...I could've sworn i replied on this thread...anyways.

What leaded me to becoming overweight was my fiancee breaking off an engagement/5 year relationship. I lost control of my life temporarily. Now starting at 260lbs I just stopped snacking late nights and walked my dogs every day. Added cycling to the mix and 9 months later I am 230lbs.

Its a bunch of small step but you'll get there for sure. Can't wait to see some ride pics and the new trike.

wild animals

because i'm mentally ill!

also, my idea of time and quantity is pretty skewed.
i'm pretty sickly, my stomach is always upset, so i do remedial eating. if i don't eat for a couple hours, i start to feel like i'm going to throw up, so i eat something (and i overdo it!).
relating to the time thing, even if i want to do something, like ride my bike or go buy pants or whatever, i take so long messing around that it's always too late for me to go do stuff. so i put off exercise (and everything else). sometimes i'll have to go to the bathroom but won't make it until like 3 hours later. i guess the upside of that is that i also sometimes forget to eat. not as often as i forget to exercise though
i'm kind of overwhelmed by the world generally and my life particularly.

ps: i like candy.