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-   -   Keep an open mind! Being nice works! (https://www.bikeforums.net/commuting/1029267-keep-open-mind-being-nice-works.html)

Cyclosaurus 09-10-15 05:17 PM

Keep an open mind! Being nice works!
 
I'm always prepared for a confrontation with a driver, but an interaction today is a good reminder of why I have a policy of starting out being nice with everyone. There's a 1/2 mile stretch of my commute that has a median which makes it so that there is not room for a car a bike to coexist; it's really narrow, and I essentially take the lane. There's also several "Bikes may use full lane" signs along this stretch, but I think most drivers ignore them. I had someone tailing me along this stretch and my spidey-sense made me think they were itching to get by me and pretty annoyed. The street widens at the light and he pulled up next to me on my left. He says something, but I didn't catch what, so I lean closer and ask him to repeat it. He says, "you don't put gas in that thing?" I laugh and say, no I put the food in me and then I make the bike go. He seems interested, I tell him he could put the suit he's wearing in a garment bag pannier and bike himself. He asks me what I do, and when I tell him IT, he says he's a recruiter and would like to get my info and he likes my personality. When the light changes, we go across and pull over and exchange contact info. It would be an interesting story if I get my next job through this guy.

Anyway, I wanted to share this because I've always found that being as friendly as possible with drivers is the right thing to do no matter what they're doing. I've caught up to people who have buzzed me and been polite and willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes they are genuinely apologetic, which only is possible if I'm not "going in hot".

CrankyOne 09-10-15 05:48 PM

Most drivers in Minnesota are quite good and incidents are more rare than in most other parts of the U.S. They are also more likely to be, or at least seem, genuinely sorry for close passes and other stuff. It's fairly easy to start off nice with them. Drivers in Florida are another story.

Cyclosaurus 09-10-15 06:19 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18154375)
Most drivers in Minnesota are quite good and incidents are more rare than in most other parts of the U.S. They are also more likely to be, or at least seem, genuinely sorry for close passes and other stuff. It's fairly easy to start off nice with them. Drivers in Florida are another story.

Yeah, it's pretty hit or miss here in Chicago. I guess we got some of both Minnesota and Florida...

mr geeker 09-10-15 07:34 PM

A good chunk of the drivers in my neck of the woods don't really seem to pay all to much attention to anything... I believe they are why Iowa is an acronym for idiots out wondering around.

kickstart 09-10-15 08:33 PM

Unless there's an obvious display of hostility, I'll assume their transgression was unintentional, and that they will likely be conscious of their mistake on their own.
I figure nobody's perfect, including myself, and that its often best to just let it go.

Leebo 09-11-15 10:55 AM

Being nice? Umm, OK. Most drivers start out with a long horn, The Ole' Mass salute, and then a barrage of insults hurled out the window. Welcome to MA. I try, really I do.

ItsJustMe 09-11-15 05:54 PM

The only interaction I've had with a driver this year was we were both stopped in town at lights on the same block heading in opposite directions, and he asked "what does your motor run on?" I said "Cheeseburgers. Lots of them." We both laughed as the lights turned green.

jfowler85 09-15-15 11:47 AM

Open mind? **** that **** up the ****. I **** **** and **** **** **** all the ****ing time, no ****ing bones about that ****.

PatrickGSR94 09-15-15 12:33 PM

Yuck I hate "boulevard" streets when there is only one lane on either side of a median. Makes it a real PITA for cycling, or if you car breaks down through there, or whatever. My parents' neighborhood has that crap and it's really stupid.

There was a guy on a bike near me in the Memphis area a couple of weeks ago who was passed very closely by an SUV, and then shortly after he caught up with them and apparently had some sort of negative interaction with them. Someone in the SUV proceeded to open fire on him. Luckily he got away with only very slight injuries (really sucky shot that guy was, perhaps?). Either way the guy got off REALLY lucky.

RubeRad 09-15-15 01:19 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18154375)
Most drivers in Minnesota are quite good and incidents are more rare than in most other parts of the U.S. They are also more likely to be, or at least seem, genuinely sorry for close passes and other stuff. It's fairly easy to start off nice with them.

According to the stereotype, most people in Minnesota are quite nice in general...

bmthom.gis 09-15-15 01:43 PM


Originally Posted by PatrickGSR94 (Post 18166217)
Yuck I hate "boulevard" streets when there is only one lane on either side of a median. Makes it a real PITA for cycling, or if you car breaks down through there, or whatever. My parents' neighborhood has that crap and it's really stupid.

There was a guy on a bike near me in the Memphis area a couple of weeks ago who was passed very closely by an SUV, and then shortly after he caught up with them and apparently had some sort of negative interaction with them. Someone in the SUV proceeded to open fire on him. Luckily he got away with only very slight injuries (really sucky shot that guy was, perhaps?). Either way the guy got off REALLY lucky.

Memphis...come for the ribs, leave before the shooting. My very limited experience with Memphis has been flying in/out of the airport. On the way back, I had time to kill so I found Central BBQ listed on a few websites as a good place to eat. While the destination was great, the route was pretty sketch.

PatrickGSR94 09-15-15 02:20 PM

Everything around the MEM airport is sketchy. All the way around it 360 degrees. :P But Midtown, Downtown and East Memphis are pretty awesome!

rmfnla 09-15-15 02:35 PM


Originally Posted by ItsJustMe (Post 18157308)
The only interaction I've had with a driver this year was we were both stopped in town at lights on the same block heading in opposite directions, and he asked "what does your motor run on?" I said "Cheeseburgers. Lots of them." We both laughed as the lights turned green.

My only interaction with a driver this year was when a woman waiting at a corner caught up with me and told me how much easier it was to see me because of my flashing handlebar light.

She was nice, too...

PatrickGSR94 09-15-15 02:45 PM

I had 2 different people comment on my lights during my 61 mile Labor Day ride last week. One guy doing yard work commented as I rolled by that he could see my flashing headlight from way back at the corner (at least 1/4 mile away, others have said they can see it from nearly a mile). And then later on a friend on Strava said that he saw me that morning and could see my 2 flashing rear lights from nearly a mile away.

bmthom.gis 09-15-15 04:17 PM


Originally Posted by PatrickGSR94 (Post 18166528)
Everything around the MEM airport is sketchy. All the way around it 360 degrees. :P But Midtown, Downtown and East Memphis are pretty awesome!

I hope to get back at some point. If I had more time I would have checked more out. The ribs alone are enough to want to go back

2manybikes 09-15-15 04:53 PM


Originally Posted by Leebo (Post 18156240)
Being nice? Umm, OK. Most drivers start out with a long horn, The Ole' Mass salute, and then a barrage of insults hurled out the window. Welcome to MA. I try, really I do.

I used to drive my mother in law to the hospital in Boston. One day there was a small flock of geese trying to cross the road, in the city. I thought I would stop and let them go. Everyone went ballistic! A few went right at the geese and beeped the horn to get them to move. The geese ended up going back to where they started from. I hope they all lived.

JohnJ80 09-15-15 08:48 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18154375)
Most drivers in Minnesota are quite good and incidents are more rare than in most other parts of the U.S. They are also more likely to be, or at least seem, genuinely sorry for close passes and other stuff. It's fairly easy to start off nice with them. Drivers in Florida are another story.


Originally Posted by Cyclosaurus (Post 18154449)
Yeah, it's pretty hit or miss here in Chicago. I guess we got some of both Minnesota and Florida...

Well, having grown up in Chicago and learned to drive there and now living in Minnesota - this needs some qualification. Minnesota drivers are nicer ("Minnesota Nice" is a real thing) but Chicago drivers are by far more competent drivers in traffic and in car handling. The *one* exception to that is in winter driving where Minnesota drivers are far and away better. On winter driving, it's not even close.

When it comes to cyclists, Minnesota drivers are really pretty decent towards cyclists, but that is a relatively recent development - maybe within the last 10 years or so. Used to be I could count on getting yelled at by someone every time I went for a ride and wasn't on a bike path. Now, it hardly happens and is rare. I live on the border between MN and WI and for decades WI drivers were better towards cyclists, but that has changed now.

J.

CrankyOne 09-16-15 05:35 AM


Originally Posted by JohnJ80 (Post 18167563)
I live on the border between MN and WI and for decades WI drivers were better towards cyclists, but that has changed now.

Yeah, but WI drivers think the left lane is for cruising slowly instead of passing and getting back right :-)

Great comments though.

CJ Str3tch 09-16-15 06:38 AM


Originally Posted by RubeRad (Post 18166348)
According to the stereotype, most people in Minnesota are quite nice in general...

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! What stereotype are we talkin' about here?? The gopher one? Or the "they're almost Canadian" one? :p ;)

JohnJ80 09-16-15 08:14 AM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18168020)
Yeah, but WI drivers think the left lane is for cruising slowly instead of passing and getting back right :-)

Great comments though.

It's my pet peeve. I drive I-94 from 494 to the WI border every day in my commute. In the morning and evening there is a train of slow moving 'sconnie drivers in the left lane slowing down traffic doing the slow cruise you mention. Going home last night, I passed them all in the *right* lane which was wide open for 8 miles.


Originally Posted by CJ Str3tch (Post 18168127)
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! What stereotype are we talkin' about here?? The gopher one? Or the "they're almost Canadian" one? :p ;)

We're talking about the "better dead than red" one.

J.

CJ Str3tch 09-16-15 09:52 AM


Originally Posted by JohnJ80 (Post 18168340)
We're talking about the "better dead than red" one.

J.


"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'. "

Carl Spackler

Albino Wino 09-16-15 01:58 PM

I commute to a driving job...when I was out driving the other day I saw a guy on a really sweet bridgestone XO-1 and, not being able to help myself, I yelled "sweet bike" out the window. He whipped around totally ready for a fight...came up to the window and I'm like "dude, that's a beautiful Bridgestone!". He had no idea wtf was going on because I think his brain was already 5 steps ahead and he'd already decided I was starting **** with him.

rmfnla 09-16-15 02:02 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18168020)
Yeah, but WI drivers think the left lane is for cruising slowly instead of passing and getting back right :-)

Most of America thinks that...

CrankyOne 09-16-15 02:47 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18168020)
Yeah, but WI drivers think the left lane is for cruising slowly instead of passing and getting back right :-)


Originally Posted by rmfnla (Post 18169492)
Most of America thinks that...


Fortunately not. Some states like Texas, Florida, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin are definitely worse than most. That said it is a problem largely limited to the U.S. among developed countries.

rmfnla 09-16-15 03:46 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 18169616)
Fortunately not. Some states like Texas, Florida, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin are definitely worse than most. That said it is a problem largely limited to the U.S. among developed countries.

Why do you think it took so long for U.S. auto makers to include headlight flashers on their cars (and move the brights control off the floor)?

The idea of flashing and passing on the left is not only unknown to many Americans, it is considered offensive to a great many as well...


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