I've yet to encounter something like any of these... but the "you're about to make a big mistake" sounds like a good one to use. I like the drivers in my summer city... and when I go to university I am in a small town.

also, I think you could use a U-lock like a Tonfa if you needed to defend yourself.

not take to heart my friends.
if some car cager thinkg horn is as bicycle bell. is why he done it.

I'd be very careful...if you use "fighting words" and encourage a physical altercation and then use a lock as a weapon, you may end up having a hard time showing it was justifiable self-defense and end up with an assault charge to deal with and a civil suit to boot.

Who needs to get in a fight? Getting the dude so torqued off in the first place is the most satisfying revenge you could hope for, IMO.

Using a lock up-side someones head would probably lead to an attempted murder/manslaughter charge, if not worse... A last ditch weapon IMHO

As good as it feels to give someone the finger, it almost never improves the situation. I tend to give an arms-out shrug, sort of a "WTF?" thing, which is hard to interpret as being aggressive. It's better to be quietly assertive of your rights rather than be aggressive, since the latter isn't likely to change their opinion anyway, least of all in the heat of the moment.

If I'm stopped at a light and somebody behind honks, I usually just enjoy a nice, long, exaggerated, stretch, and then yawn.

Usually I only get honks at reds when the driver behind thinks I should disappear so he/she/it can turn right on the red, in cases where I'm going straight on and there is no right-turn-only lane. However, if I believe that the lane I'm in is actually wide enough to accommodate me and a right-turning car, I'm generally already positioned to the left so that said right-turning car can get by.

In that case it was a single lane street going two ways crossing a 3 lanes street going one-way from left to right (north-south, I was going west-east). Thing is, you're not allowed to turn right on a red light anywhere in Montreal. In the case where it's possible, I do tend to the left.

I took the lane to avoid being squished by right-turning drivers actually

Actually yeah I think I shouldn't have given the finger. That's a tendency that I should lose but I have a hard time being calm in these cases.

Bzz. Wrong answer. IMHO, if you act different around a cop than when you aren't, then you're clearly in the wrong.

If you get the tag number in situations like these ALWAYS report it to the police. No exceptions. This information might not lead to any action by the police in the short term, but if there is a road rage situation later on that results in an accident, problems etc, this information will show up and it will be of use in showing a pattern of aggression.

Pull out your 9mm

Grenade, into the back seat. "Cycle killer, ride ride ride awaaaaay" (to a Talking Heads beat)

Didn't that law change a couple of years ago?
https://www.mtq.gouv.qc.ca/portal/pag...oite_feu_rouge

Yes but it's up to the municipalities to add "don't turn on red" panels. In the case of Montreal a huge panel is there when you cross the bridges and means "don't turn red anywhere on the Montreal island".

Quoted from the site: Right turns is permitted on red lights throughout Québec, except on Montréal Island and at intersections where road signs prohibit such turns

And if Montreal allowed right turns on reds pedestrians would never be able to safely cross the road anywhere.

I always raise my fist in triumph when I get honked at. It makes me happy to pretend that drivers are encouraging me in a victory lap. And it really pisses them off. End result me happy them mad.

That's a good one. I smile and wave. I hardly ever get honked at, but a couple of years ago I zoned out at a light and it took me, oh, probably 2 extra seconds to take off. The guy zoomed around me and gave me the high sign. I smiled and waved real big. He saw it in his rear view, and digited me again, harder. I waved again. This went back and forth probably about 5 times, by the end he was practically jumping up and down in his seat, and I finally stopped because I was about to start laughing out loud, and I was afraid he'd blow a fuse and run his car into someone. It was very funny.

This is a good plan of action. I once was assaulted for giving a guy the finger. Long story, but he ended up going to jail for a spell and had to pay some money. In the end, though, it was definitely not worth it since it hurt like hell. I will never give anyone the finger again, in a car, on a bike or otherwise.

I like that. The Forrest Gump approach.

I see a lot of threads like this and it's happened to me a lot. I try to take solace in the fact that I'm lucky to be so much of a smarter and better person than the enraged cager. Hey, if it makes you feel better, you could probably tell them just that.

If someone gives me the finger , I just look up....."huh? wha..?"

Drives 'em nuts.

Bear Mace. The idiot deserves bear mace.

Yep, this has happened to me before. Then, they travel through the light (in the wrong lane) taking a left, and then immediately pull over to pick someone up. I waved and smiled as I rode by...

I've been cornered and confronted by a nutjob driver. Now I carry pepper spray. The next guy who gets out of his car and comes at me gets sprayed. Period. No U-lock. Just police strength pepper spray(gel).