I better get expense compensation.

...When a cop pulls you for suspicion of drunk driving and, during the conversation, you realize it was because you were dodging the potholes and nastier bumps on a long downhill stretch...and simply forgot you were in the car and not on the bike. :doh:
Took the car because it was a 30 mile trip after dark...same reason the cop pulled me: it was after dark. No ticket, just 30 minutes lost. Never left my own lane, either. "Weaving within the lane." was the reason he pulled me.

"Get home safe, now."
You too, sir.

... When you show visitors your TWO bicycle commuting collections - one of objects YOU found on the road, and the other of objects your FLAT TIRE(s) found on the road.

I like that!

For better or for worse, that isn't an option for me. If I needed something from someplace that was "too far away" I'd have to make the time to ride out there. As driving isn't an option as I've never got around to getting to getting my drivers license. But for those who do also ride and drive I can see where/how time would be more of a variable then distance.

You're more afraid of driving than cycling.

Heh that is me, I hate driving! It feels so cumbersome compared to cycling

... when you are a woman and cut your hair so it will dry faster at work and look good after wearing a helmet.

I love the one with more bike lock keys than house keys. YUP! I decided I was late and would drive the truck one day. Hit the porch, saw the bike, went back in to get the bike shoes on. I felt somehow dirty even thinking about driving the truck. The one about getting back up and finding about an injury later is familiar. But the guys at work have called me crazy for several years so who cares?

You're scanning the tags of various dessert dishes at a buffet, see one that reads "Broken Glass", and your arms instinctively twitch...

You use your car as storage space for all the bike stuff that won't fit in your room.

You leave from work for the library, where your thirty-year old bicycle is stolen. You show up for work the next morning, with your twenty-year old bicycle, on time, and without even breaking a sweat.

You pass a half-dozen coworkers stuck in snow-covered ditches on a frontage road, or "parked" on a frozen freeway on the way to work during the years first snow fall, only to have to wait outside for 45 minutes to actually get to work because you don't have keys to the building....

Then you decide you might as well go for a short ride while you wait......

when you go to a pot-luck or hare-krishna feast, make a total pig of yourself, and stick around to help with clean up... because if you hop on the bike right away you'll get sick. everyone thinks you're helping out because you're a "nice guy"

edit: the hare-krishnas think you're an aspiring devotee committed to spiritual service

...and you respond, "No, if I got tired, I'd just ride the direct route instead of doing the extra miles".

When you are a male, and keep your hair short because your longer hair gets disgusting under a bike helmet.

Yep, goes for guys too. I buzzed my head so I could stop bringing extra hair product to work--not to mention the product was making a mess of my forehead by the end of the ride.

When you live three blocks from school and still take a 5 mile commute ride in before class.

Just because it feels so darn good I swear!

I live fairly close to my school, so sometimes I leave early, and take a long route around town to wake up.

+1!

You go into work on a day you don't have to, just to ride.

Haha, I am seriously thinking about doing this later this week to make up some miles.

The weather was horrendous today and it was easier to drive than to hear my family freak out about me biking or walking/busing.

One of your pant legs is always rolled up. I went out to dinner like that this weekend!

I picked up a rental car for the long weekend, leaving my bicycle at work, to get home Tuesday when I return the car. When I got home with the rental car Friday night, I freaked out for a minute because I thought my bicycle was stolen out of my garage.